Whipped
by Kaijo
Summary: How far will you go for a friend? When memories from Fate's past begin to affect her, Nanoha decides to take action, but the road she travels will challenge her just as much as the one she cares about.
1. At A Loss

**Whipped**

**Part 1: At a Loss**

Xx~~*~~xX

"I want to thank you again for this," Nanoha announced to their benefactor for the evening as the group strolled among the crowds. "It's been so long since I've been to the circus, and I've always wanted to bring Vivio to one."

"Anything for my friends!" Arisa beamed proudly, flashing a thumbs up. "And it has been a long time since we've all been together like this. I just can't believe we never brought Fate-chan to one of these."

The golden-haired girl blushed ever so slightly. "Well, there was a lot of Bureau work when I was younger, and I was on probation for quite awhile, and I wanted to make up for what I'd done..."

Nanoha reached up to squeeze the other woman's shoulder. "We know, but that's all in the past. Let's just enjoy this evening, alright?"

"Well, I want to thank you as well," Amy added, directing it towards Arisa. "It's nice being able to get out of the house and give the kids something to do. Speaking of which..." She raised her voice. "Karel, Liera, don't go too far!"

"Not to worry, Vivio and Arf are with them," Nanoha soothed, smiling as she watched the four children run from cage to cage to look at the animals.

Arisa snickered. "Yeah, I was a bit confused when you asked for four child tickets; Arf is sure milking that form for all it's worth."

Amy blew out a breath. "I was just surprised you managed to get them at all. I tried before, but they all sold out too fast."

"Arisa-chan's family has... connections," Suzuka answered a bit cryptically, then sighed. "I was hoping Hayate would come, though. It's been awhile since her last visit."

"She promised next time," Fate told her, patting her sympathetically. "There was a situation that demanded her attention, and she couldn't get out of it. Don't worry, I'll drag her next time if I have to."

The purple-haired woman was mollified some, smiling in amusement. "Thanks, I appreciate that. Well, we might want to go find seats in the big tent now, the show will be starting soon."

"Good idea," Amy agreed, noting the kids in the distance. "Fate, could you contact Arf and have her round up the kids?"

"Sure thing," Fate replied, smiling and nodding as she began to send the telepathic message to her familiar.

x~~*~~x

The children were collected and they found their seats, that turned out to be highly valuable ones in the middle of the front row, which surprised most of the group, who began to wonder again about Arisa's "connections." But the show promptly began and attention refocused on the center ring as the announcer welcomed everyone and began to call out the acts.

It was vaguely similar to what Nanoha remembered from her childhood, although those memories were a bit foggy. The last time she had gone was before Fate and Yuuno arrived, when her father had taken the family shortly after his recovery, so the general atmosphere brought her a nostalgic feeling; she found herself wanting to bring the rest of her family next time as well.

Vivio, Karel and Liera in particular became enraptured by the daring trapeze artists, got many laughs out of the clowns, and even Fate seemed to be quite enthralled by the various circus acts. But that seemed to change when the lion cage came up, as Nanoha noticed the amusement promptly vanish from Fate's face. Wondering why, she glanced back and forth between Fate and the act, as the lion tamer used a chair and a whip to guide the lions through various flaming rings and perform other feats.

Nanoha gently covered Fate's hand, which was currently tightly gripping the arm of her chair, while she leaned over to whisper, "Are you okay?"

Fate turned to her and forced a smile, using her other hand to pat Nanoha's. "I'm fine."

The other woman seemed to relax some as Nanoha returned most of her attention to the show, but out of the corner of her eye, she could see the barest hints of Fate's jaw tighten whenever the whip cracked. It confused her as to why, but then she caught Arf glancing over from the other side, looking a bit concerned.

Despite Fate's words, Nanoha had know Fate long enough to know when something was bothering the other woman, and also knew when she didn't want to talk about it; this seemed to be such a case, but it appeared that Arf at least sensed it, too. Nanoha continued watching the show while Fate's demeanor calmed, but when other animal tamers came out, the stoicism returned. Nanoha briefly wondered if Fate had a problem with animals being treated that way.

Whatever the issue was, Nanoha decided to let it pass and just take Fate's word for it; she'd trust that Fate would talk about it if she needed to. And this was supposed to be a night for enjoyment, so she let her gaze drift back to the show, letting a smile come to her lips as she caught occasional glimpses of Vivio's delighted face.

But little did she know at the time, that it was only the glimpse of bigger things to come.

x~~*~~x

"You had to what?" Nanoa asked in disbelief to the holo screen several days later from her home on Mid-Childa.

"I had to take Fate off active duty for awhile," Hayate was saying. "She didn't mention this to you at all?"

Nanoha bit her lip and shook her head. "No. And she hasn't been by here lately. She might be staying at the apartment she has, but I thought she only used that occasionally when she needed some alone time, or was only going to be in town for a night. She normally stays here to spend time with Vivio and I if she has a few days off. What happened?"

Hayate sighed. "I'm still in the process of going through the report, but there was an incident with a case she and Teana were on, apprehending a class-A criminal on administered world #24. Fate failed to capture him, and Teana had to rescue her and do it instead. And then she failed her annual combat evaluation. It's obvious something is bothering her, but she wouldn't tell me or Teana what it was; I thought you might know."

"She hasn't seemed too different from normal to me," Nanoha answered, thinking, remembering last week. "She did seem a bit troubled at the circus we went to... did the case have anything to do with animals?"

"No, not that I can see," Hayate answered. "I can tell something is bothering her, but so far, she's refused to go see any doctors or counselors I've recommended. Whatever it is, I don't really want to put an official investigation on it unless I have to..."

Nanoha nodded firmly, getting the subtle message as the other woman trailed off. "I'll talk to her and look into it."

Hayate appeared relieved. "Thank you, I was hoping you'd say that. You are both my precious friends, but because of my position in Investigations, anything I do in this matter I'd have to officially record. Fate may not have wanted to speak to me because of that. If you can clear things up, and her scores come back up, I can return to her active duty and record it as just a momentary stress-related incident that was solved by some time off."

"Understood, I'll do my best," Nanoha told her, then signed off, determined to get to the bottom of things.

x~~*~~x

"Thanks for meeting with me like this," Nanoha thanked the other woman as she slid into the private booth in the restaurant.

Except her initial plan didn't go quite as she'd hoped.

_"I'm fine, Nanoha, really!" Fate insisted from the other side of the table in her apartment._

_"Are you sure?" Nanoha questioned, studying the other woman. "I'm not sure what happened in your last assignment, but Hayate and Teana were worried about you."_

_The golden-haired agent fidgeted a bit, but nervously laughed it off. "Just a bit of stress; I just need a few days off to relax, that's all."_

_Nanoha took a sip of her tea, then placed her cup down, realizing the other woman wasn't going to be forthcoming. "Alright, if you think so..."_

That was when Nanoha concluded that Fate couldn't be pushed for her reasons, so Nanoha had to handle this carefully if she was going to proceed; she didn't want to upset Fate by going behind her back, but her instincts told her something else was going on here and she needed to find out what. She hadn't actually done any investigations before, but Fate had often talked about hers during their times together, and one thing the agent had always stressed was how important having enough information was, and how to go about getting it. Thus, Nanoha decided that the first order of business was to find out exactly what happened; Hayate obviously couldn't officially tell her, so that left just one person she could ask.

"It's no problem," Teana answered with a smile. "I'm off for a few days awaiting reassignment while Fate is on leave. Although I was a bit surprised you contacted me, though I assume it has something to do with Fate."

Nanoha nodded, pausing for a bit to thank the waitress as she delivered menus and glasses of water and took their orders for drinks, then left. "Can you tell me what happened with your latest assignment? Strictly off the record."

Teana seemed to pick up on her meaning. "I think so. It was actually me who requested that the incident become classified, because I care about her, too. But I know you two are close friends, so I can tell you, and hopefully you'll understand why. It all started when we got our next investigation to track down a criminal on administered world #24, a B-rank mage who had performed a variety of criminal acts such as vandalism, theft, bank robbery, etc. Basically anything involving money or valuables. He had struck a few worlds before, but always managed to stay one step ahead of the authorities pursuing him. However, the Bureau received new reliable intel that placed him on that world, and we went in."

"Seems normal enough for your line of work, I assume anyway," Nanoha commented. "Fate talked about her assignments on occasion. Anything out of the ordinary about this one?"

"He was a bit more skilled than most, as evidenced by the fact that he could stay ahead of the law," Teana answered, pausing as the waitress came back with drinks. "But he was also fairly skilled in combat, too. The few Bureau agents we spoke with before we went in, told us he was able to outwit them in combat. But Fate figured his love for money was his weakness, and managed to deduce where he'd strike next."

"A trap?" Nanoha questioned.

Teana nodded. "Sort of. We put trackers in places on several of the banks and high-class neighborhoods, and sure enough, he struck a home one night and made off with the goods. We tracked him back to his warehouse hideout on the docks, and that's where things began to go wrong..."

x~~*~~x

"This is Teana, still no sign of him," the junior agent reported as she worked her way on foot through the dock district.

"The tracer indicates he entered this area, before it went offline," came Fate's response through the channel. "He has to be here."

"He must have found it," Shari's disappointed voice called out, from her position in the Bureau ship in orbit. "I designed those tracers myself, and no way would anything down here interfere with them."

"Which means he may be onto us," Fate deduced.

"It doesn't matter," Teana replied, coming up on the next warehouse. "We have Enforcers ringing the area and covering the sewer system, and also divers underwater. There's no way he can get out this time; we have all escape avenues covered."

"A cornered snake is a dangerous creature," Fate cautioned. "Be careful. I just cleared B sector, and now moving onto sector C."

Teana nodded. "Roger, I'll join in a bit, after I finish up-"

"Found him!" Fate's voice sounded. "And I think he has a short-range teleporter! Shari, begin tracking magic signals, I'm going in to stop him!"

"Fate, you should wait for backup!" Teana called, taking off running, raising Cross Mirage and firing a grappling shot to an above crane in order to swing over several buildings. She cursed, realizing Fate herself had admonished Teana against rushing in too fast, but she had to admit that sometimes it was necessary.

Fate's open channel continued to broadcast for logging purposes. "Wiggs Bedge, you are under arrest for suspicion of theft. Surrender or-" Her voice cut out for a moment as sounds of a scuffle replaced it.

Teana cursed as she landed from her swing as Cross Mirage continued to guide her to Fate's location, picking up speed and ordering Enforcers in as Fate's anguished cry came over the channel. "Fate! Are you okay? What's happening?"

There was no response, but part of the warehouse she was heading to exploded, blowing out side walls and setting the building ablaze. But Teana didn't let that stop her as she blew open a door and entered, casting her eyes about for Fate and the criminal, and that's when her eyes widened.

"Fate!" she called, firing.

The suspect was brandishing a pair of magical energy whips, crackling with electrical energy, one of which had encircled Fate's ankle. The unmoving agent was currently on her back among some smashed crates, as if he had just toss her into them.

Wiggs dissolved her shots in mid-air with his other whip as he turned to her, coiling it around and sending it in her direction. Teana dove and rolled, coming up to cast her bind, but he was already moving and slipped out of it before it could snag him. He yanked Fate towards him, pulling her along the ground while sending the second whip at Teana again.

"You'll never take me!" he cried triumphantly. "Not while I have your precious agent hostage!"

Teana grit her teeth and decided on a different tack, standing her ground and firing her grapple line straight at him. The line entangled the whip, coiling around it and holding it tight.

"Cross Mirage," she spoke in a low voice.

Wigg's expression changed as he pulled a few times to get his whip loose, and realized he couldn't. "Uh oh..."

Her device pulled the line back hard, yanking him off his feet and sending him straight for the gun mage, who casually brought her second gun around to blast him as he flew toward her. His stunned body hit the ground and the whips dissolved, leaving Teana a bit surprised it was over so quick, but then she remembered Fate and sprinted over to the prone woman, rolling her onto her back.

"Fate, are you okay?" she asked in worry, worried about all the cuts and red gashes along her partner's barrier jacket that left it almost half-shredded.

Fate's eye's seemed to come back into focus. "Teana? What happened?"

"You tell me," she said, helping the other woman to sit up as Enforcers began filing in, binding the suspect. "You should have been able to take that guy. What happened?"

She put a hand to her head, closing her eyes, then opened them, appearing a bit worried. "I... don't know."

x~~*~~x

Nanoha's eyes narrowed a bit as Teana finished her tale, her mind putting something disturbing together from the gun mage's story and the minor incident last week. "Could it be...?"

"You know something?" Teana asked eagerly, sipping her drink.

Nanoha bit her lip. "Maybe, but I don't think I can say, if you'll understand. I'm not entirely sure myself."

Teana nodded. "It's okay. I trust you both, and I just want her back to normal. For a few days afterward, I'd catch her staring off into space, and sometimes when she trained, I could detect her hands shaking a bit. Something spooked her, I think."

"It's personal, and I'm not sure what I can do about it, but I'll do what I can," Nanoha answered, as the waitress began bringing them their lunch.

"I wish you luck, and let me know if I can be of any help," Teana offered as she picked up her silverware.

Nanoha thanked her as they began to eat, but her thoughts were disturbed; she got the impression that Fate had never told her everything that happened between her and Precia all those years ago. All she knew was that Precia had mistreated Fate, but the exact details of which she never found out. She had noticed scars on Fate's body years ago when they took baths together as children, but those had mostly healed over by now.

As Nanoha parted from Teana at the restaurant, she realized that if she was going to help Fate, she'd have to know exactly what happened all those years ago, and there was only one person who could tell her. She was a bit ashamed to go behind Fate's back like this, though she kept telling herself it was for her best friend's own good.

She placed a call to Earth.

x~~*~~x

She was horrified to find her suspicions were correct.

Nanoha shakily put her tea cup down once Arf had finished her story. She had some suspicions about what might have gone on, but she didn't expect this, not glad she had decided on a face-to-face chat in the Harlaown's home in Japan, instead of cover the communicator.

"I figured you might come asking one of these days, and while Fate asked me not to say anything, I heard about Fate being taken off duty," the familiar commented sadly. "She's still trying to hide it and keep it bottled up inside and I don't know what to do about it. Linith once told me there was a brief period where Precia honestly loved Fate, back when she still thought Fate was Alicia. But that slowly changed, and she grew colder and colder, culminating with the abuse sessions after Linith left. Fate never told you partly because she was afraid to, and partly because she considered it over and didn't want to worry you."

"I can see why," Nanoha replied, understanding. "I wondered, but never asked. I never realized it got that bad."

"There's a bit more that I believe to be related to all this, which is why Arf asked me to be here," Lindy added, the last member of the trio present. "This is something only the two of us really knew, although I suspect Chrono was aware of it a bit. When I adopted Fate and became her mother, things were fine for awhile. She was a quiet child, but very obedient and good. Which is why I was surprised a year or two later, when she suddenly started doing things."

"What kind of things?" Nanoha questioned, leaning in.

"Nothing too major at first," Lindy replied, thinking back. "She'd knock something over, like a glass of juice, or not finish her dinner, or make a mess, or just decide she didn't want to do her chores. She'd apologize, but then do it again, almost deliberately. Eventually, I had to start some punishments, which mostly consisted of sending her to her room. It was as if she was behaving like a five-year-old exploring their boundaries, instead of her real age. It really confused me, especially when it showed no signs of stopping. But I have experience with Chrono, and finally found something that worked."

Nanoha glanced back and forth between Arf and Lindy, as the latter paused. "What was it?"

"Spanking," Lindy said at last. "Once I resorted to that, the incidents cleared up. She would still do something occasionally, but it gradually faded away and she slowly became a normal young lady. Other than Arf, I was the only one to really know what Precia did to Fate, so I think subconsciously, she needed to be hit to know she was loved."

Nanoha blinked as an image of Lindy spanking an adult Fate went through her mind, and she quickly shook her head to clear it, instead focusing on the confusing part. "How can someone feel love from being hit?"

"It's complicated, and I'm not too sure myself," Lindy answered. "But it's something about a physical confirmation that someone cares enough to hurt you when you do things you know are wrong. I'm not sure Fate consciously realizes it. Precia hardly spent much time with her, the few such instances being when she was punishing Fate."

Nanoha was still having a bit of a hard time fully grasping things, but could almost see the connection, as strange as it was; Fate had linked attention from loved ones, with physical punishment in her mind. She developed normally past that, mostly, but apparently some still remained.

"When you defeated her all those years ago above the ocean," Lindy continued, "I think you had a bigger impact that you realized. She recovered fairly fast from her mother abandoning her, because she had someone else to focus on: you. If she's refusing to go see a counselor, you might be the only one who can help her now."

"How?" Nanoha questioned. "By defeating her in combat again? We spar from time to time, but I know she holds back because she doesn't want me going all out and stressing myself."

"I'm afraid I don't know," Lindy admitted. "When she grew up and seemingly became a normal woman, I assumed it was over. Some people absolutely refuse to go to counselor, because they don't want to tell a stranger their problems, they don't want to bother someone, they don't think they can be helped, or they are afraid."

"Fate talks to me, but she mostly just tells me she is alright," Arf added. "Even back when we were with Precia, Fate always tried to be strong, not wanting to make me worry or go out of my way to do things. So if you can do anything..."

Nanoah remembered her talk with Hayate, who basically told her the same thing. "I promise, I'll do what I can."

x~~*~~x

Little did Nanoha realize exactly what those words would get her into, however.

She didn't want to involve anyone else, not even to talk to Shamal, but fortunately there was one resource she could turn to, which was the Mid-Childa version of the internet. With Vivio staying overnight at a friend's house, she had all day and night to do some research. The obvious starting point was to find out who else had gone through abuse, and what they did about it; after all, other people had gone through abuse before. How did they deal with it?

She entered "dealing with getting whipped" into the search box and hit enter, watching as the list of links was populated. Most of the link names weren't very descriptive, except for the first one which had a dictionary definition of the word. So, she clicked the second link, deciding to work her way down.

And stared.

There are some things in life that one is aware of in an abstract informational way, but that present added emotions and feelings when seen directly. For instance, Nanoha knew kittens could be cute, but it was a completely different feeling to see a kitten in real life and hold them in your hands.

Her current situation was similar, although "cute" wasn't exactly what she was feeling.

Swallowing, her wide eyes tracked over the various people in the pictures and their positions and outfits, and quickly closed the window before her imagination started placing herself in those positions. In a distant way, she kinda knew about such things, but seeing them _up close_...

That was _definitely_ not the way to help Fate, she decided. After all, the last thing she needed to do was reintroduce a whip into the woman's life, and how exactly were those knots tied?

[Wait, how did...?] she thought in shock, realizing that the window had reopened due to her finger moving of it's own accord. She blinked and quickly closed it down again. [That's enough of that...]

She slapped her warm cheeks to try and clear her mind to focus on the task at hand, and mostly succeeded as she proceeded through the next few links. A few others were of the similar vein, which only made her a bit more flustered, before she finally found a forum where people talked about physical punishment, both abuse and for love.

Curious, she began to read the posts of people who talked about when they were beat as children, some of which were normal spankings, and others were treated more seriously. The raw personal descriptions of some of them really started to move her, as she reached a finger up to wipe away a tear. One male talked about how he had an abusive father who beat him with a board, while another person, a female seemingly, told about how her own father mistreated her. Still other discussions centered around the limits and proper use of physical punishment for one's children.

Then she moved onto the other parts of the forum, where people talked about the physical punishment as a matter of love and affection, something that seemed so alien to her. She planned to just glance over it, but found herself drawn in, wanting to understand "why" people subjected themselves to this.

Before she knew it, it was dark outside and she had to increase the amount of light in the house, noting the time as very close to midnight. [Have I been at this _that_ long?]

She stretched and decided to call it a night, but before she closed the windows, she decided on one last thing. Registering for the forum, she picked MissSeikou as an anonymous name, deciding to use the Japanese name for starlight. She wasn't quite sure any of the approaches people had talked about would work for her, and so she typed out a brief post:

_A friend of mine seems to be having some trouble. She was abused when she was younger by a distant mother who used her and whipped her, among other things. She didn't seem to suffer any ill effects later in life, and I didn't really find out until recently when it appeared to be affecting her job performance negatively. She doesn't seem to want to talk about it, to me or anyone else, but I want to help. Is there anything I can do?_

She sat back in her chair and re-read the post. She hoped she made things vague enough, but she was relatively confident no one would be able to figure out the connection. Then again, she was relatively confident no one she knew even came to these forums.

Yawning, she hit "enter" and then closed the window, deciding to take a look tomorrow to see what responses she would get If that failed, she would do more searching, but for now, she felt beat and just wanted to get some sleep. But thoughts about Fate and what she had learned continued to run through her mind as she tiredly crawled into bed and her eyes closed.

Little did she realize the path her dreams would take her that night.

Xx~~*~~xX

Author's notes:

Based on some comments in a forum that started about Fate liking to be defeated, I decided to explore the concept a bit, tying it in to her backstory. While this part was mostly from Nanoha's POV, I'll have more from Fate's in the next part, but I will continue to explore Nanoha's evolving feelings as well. Just a fair warning that, while I envision this short series to have a bit of humor and personal drama, it'll probably also end up with some lemony/lime bits.

Not sure if I'll continue this or not; depends on how many people would like me to.


	2. Trial and Error

**Whipped**

**Part 2: Trial and Error**

Xx~~*~~xX

Nanoha awoke lazily, turning her head to the side and yawning, wondering exactly when during the night she had rolled onto her stomach. It wasn't a position she normally slept in, but it wasn't altogether uncommon, either. She went to rub the sleep from her eyes... and found she couldn't.

[What the...?] she wondered internally as her arms were held fast. [And my legs, too!]

"Good morning, Nanoha," came Fate's soothing voice, but there was something odd about the tone.

Nanoha turned her head to the other side. "Fate-chan? What's going..."

She trailed off in shock at the sight of Fate in black leather, fishnet stalkings, while lightly tapping a coiled whip against her hip. For a moment, she wondered if Fate's enhanced chest size was an illusion brought on by the ebony bustier; it was almost hypnotic in the way it bounced with each small movement.

"Well, you do want to help me, don't you?" Fate reminded her coyly, then let the whip uncoil while pulling the blanket off Nanoha in one smooth motion. "You want to understand me and what I went through?"

Nanoha's eyes widened as she saw her wrists and ankles handcuffed to the corners of the bed. "F-Fate..chan? W-what are you...?"

"Allow me to show you, ohohohoho!" Fate laughed as she cracked the whip repeatedly, shredding the backside of Nanoha's pajamas.

"Aaaauuu...!"

x~~*~~x

"...gggghhhh!"

*THUNK!*

"Ow," Nanoha mumbled sleepily, finding herself face down on the floor. Hesitantly, she reached back and felt the backside of her pajamas, sighing upon finding them intact.

She slowly sat up on her knees while rubbing her forehead, wondering if perhaps she had been watching too much of the anime Arisa kept sending her; it seemed to be blending together with what she learned of Fate and certain other subjects lately.

Yawning, she stood up and headed downstairs to prepare breakfast, opening up a holographic screen to check the forum from last night. She was curious to know what kind of responses she got, especially now that the subject was now quiet vividly on her mind. There were a few replies, but most didn't say too much, other than general advice of waiting for her to talk about it on her own and wishing her good luck. That was something Nanoha had initially considered, but it was affecting Fate's job and so obviously couldn't continue for too long without issues. Still others were asking for more information, and after pondering during breakfast exactly what to add, she began to type:

_Thank you for your comments and concern, everyone! The abuse happened over 10 years ago, so I didn't think it was an issue anymore. Normally, I probably would give her time, or not press her about it as she usually tells me everything, but it's affecting her job._

Nanoha sat back and studied the post, hesitating about adding the next part, then sighed and reached up to continue typing.

_I talked to her adoptive mother, who told me that she went from being a good girl, to one who acted out and misbehaved and wouldn't stop until she spanked. The adoptive mother seemed to think my friend needed a physical reprimand, but I don't know enough about psychology to really understand. I'm not sure it's related, but reading what everyone else has written here, I figure it might play a part._

_Also, we weren't friends when I first knew her; we actually fought quite a bit, and it wasn't until a won a physical confrontation with her that she started to open up to me and we finally became close friends. Before that, she was highly devoted to her abusive biological mother._

Nanoha nervously hit submit, still feeling a bit of shame for revealing things like this. She figured Fate would probably be upset if she knew that Nanoha was sharing her personal life details, but she decided it was worth the risk; it was anonymous enough.

Almost immediately, she got a response:

_Since it sounds like it's interfering with her work, perhaps you could organize some extra training for her? That might be enough to snap her out of it._

Nanoha sat back and thought about that. [Hmmm...]

x~~*~~x

Fate clashed in mid-air with her opponent, the energy blade of her scythe blocking the sword strike. The two met eyes for just a moment, before springing apart again, but Fate was already preparing for next next move; a Plasma Lancer volley. She knew it wouldn't do too much to Signum, but it would help her keep the initiative. The Belkan knight was already on the move, however, and even though Fate was guiding the shots to stay on her opponent's tail, Signum wasn't one to go on the defensive.

This was how their fights usually went, Fate realized. Signum preferred powering on through any attacks coming her way, while Fate relied on her speed and agility to take advantage of any openings. She hadn't yet gone into Sonic Form, but she realized she'd probably have to in order to get the winning shot. Yet, somehow, the very thought of lessening her defenses made her nervous for some reason.

Then there was no more time to consider that, as the Belkan knight was charging straight for Fate, a half-dozen Plasma Lancer shots still chasing her. Fate knew as well as Signum that those shots wouldn't hurt their caster at all, so she clearly wasn't planning on veering off at the last moment. But Fate decided to test her opponent's resolve, twisting and swinging her scythe.

"Arc Saber," Bardiche intoned, releasing the spinning blade.

Signum didn't change course, the projectile impacting and exploding in a cloud of smoke that briefly obscured the knight from view.

Fate wasn't done, however, and continued the turn while gathering her magic, thrusting out her left hand. "Thunder Smasher!"

It was the weakest of her direct-fire beam spells, but it was also the fastest to cast due to lesser mana used, and she counted on the fact that her opponent might not expect a long-range attack used at short-range. The golden beam exploded forth as Signum emerged, her scabbard out and smoking, indicating that she had used it to block.

Fate smiled, knowing that wouldn't protect her opponent from the stronger beam, but the smile disappeared as Signum brought her flaming sword around, pointing straight into the beam, cleaving it and continuing her forward charge. Fate cursed and tried to dodge, but the range was too close; still, she managed to avoid a complete skewering by throwing her left hand outward and smacking the blade, seething as her gauntlet cracked and splintered, accompanied to the tune of her cape being torn when Signum continued past.

Her left arm temporarily numb, Fate descended rapidly from the sky as Bardiche popped a cartridge. "Blitz Rush."

Finally, Signum turned and threw up a shield as Bardiche enhanced the speed of Fate's magic missiles to catch up, while the caster glanced at her mostly shattered gauntlet, realizing she couldn't spare the magic to reform it.

During the brief pause in the action, Fate glanced over to the side where Vita and Nanoha were observing from the holographic controls. Fate realized it must have been Nanoha's plan when the latter had urged the former to help her with something at work. They had ended up next to the ocean-side holographic combat area where the Section 6 Forwards used to train, right as Vita was apparently wrapping up one of her combat classes. While they stopped to talk, Signum had showed up, requesting a match as she hadn't been in heavy combat for awhile and didn't want to get rusty.

Fate recognized that it was a trap, pure and simple.

Nanoha must have found out Fate failed her latest combat exam, and probably figured Signum was the perfect sparring partner to get her back into the swing of things.

[And it's obvious that Signum feels the same,] Fate noted ruefully. [Given the way she's been pushing me; this isn't just a friendly sparring match.] While touched by their concern, Fate didn't really see the point; her combat skills were fine, and it was just a little stress that caused her to fail the exam, that was all. She'd retake it after some time off.

However, indulging her friends was something she could afford to do, and she had to admit she was enjoying the little off-and-on rivalry she had going with Signum all these years.

"You seem a little slower today, Testarossa," Signum taunted as the smoke cleared. "And your spells apparently lack that extra punch I had grown accustomed to. Do not tell me you have grown a bit out of shape?"

Fate growled internally, knowing the knight was just goading her in a friendly fashion. "Sometimes people can get lucky. I wouldn't expect a warrior such as yourself to rely on luck, however."

Signum's lips turned upward into a mild grin. "Let us see if it was luck, then. Levanteinn!"

"_Schlangenform_!" her sword announced, popping a cartridge.

By this point in their lives, both fighters were intimately aware of each others fighting style and tactics, so Fate knew Signum was planning on using the extended form to cut off Fate's movement area. It worked well against slower mages, but "slow" wasn't a term that described Fate; she shot straight up into the air as Signum began weaving her weapon through the sky, getting above the enclosing noose.

One Sonic Move later, Fate came in at Signum's backside, but suddenly the Belkan knight shortened her snakeform-sword to just a few meters in length while setting it ablaze, then whipping it around in Fate's direction. Fate found her eyes drawn to the object as if suddenly nothing else in the world existed.

x~~*~~x

"Ow, what hit me?" Fate muttered, sitting up and cracking an eye open, beholding the trio standing nearby and looking at her. "What?"

"You don't remember?" Nanoha asked tentatively, crouching down to check Fate's head. "Signum's attack that struck you?"

"I was expecting you to dodge, and found it odd that you did not," Signum stated curiously. "And I did not expect it to cause you to lose consciousness from so simple a blow. Are you alright, Testarossa?"

Fate froze, realizing there was a gap in her memory. [I... don't remember? How? Why?] "I... just a momentary lapse. I'm fine."

"Fate-chan, are you sure?" Nanoha inquired,a note of worry in her voice. "Perhaps we should have Shamal-"

"No, I'm fine," Fate declared, but inwardly she was shaking. "I'll walk it off. I'm sorry, Signum, but I can't continue our match right now. I have some things to do. Perhaps later. Excuse me."

Her limbs felt light and unsteady, but Fate tried her best to shake it off as she walked away. Still, inside there was a gnawing fear that wouldn't go away; twice now, she had blacked out in a critical moment. If it was just once, she could have written it off as coincidence, but it was twice now, and that was beginning to scare her.

[I'm fine, everything's fine, I just need to relax some more,] Fate told herself. [I can't let the others worry about me.]

Straightening up, she took a deep breath, determined to just put this behind her.

x~~*~~x

With the training idea not working out so well, Nanoha grew even more concerned and returned to the forum boards to see if new posts held more ideas. One post caught her eye:

_"It really might just be stress. Get her to have some fun, loosen her up, and show you care. Perhaps share some secret of yours, as that might get her to open up, if there really is something there."_

Which is why she now found herself at Marine Gardens with Fate and Vivio, and one of Vivio's friends. Ostensibly, it was just a request from Vivio to Fate to come to the amusement park with her, although the little girl had been coached by Nanoha. When faced with those innocent, pleading eyes, Fate admitted defeat almost immediately.

The Signum match was a partial failure, but it did confirm to Nanoha that something was wrong with Fate. But for whatever reason, the other woman didn't want to talk about it, which made things difficult; how was Nanoha to help her friend, if Fate didn't want to admit there was a problem in the first place? Even if Nanoha couldn't ultimately do anything to help Fate, if she could at least just get the woman to recognize there was an issue, then Fate could possibly see a specialist to work through it.

"Nanoha-mama, Fate-mama, I wanna ride the 'Sky Ace Rumble' next!" the little girl announced eagerly, tugging on their hands and breaking Nanoha out of her thoughts, and then turning to the fourth and final member of their group. "Come on, Corona!"

[If Fate suspects anything, she's hiding it well,] Nanoha told herself, glancing at the woman's smiling face as they were pulled along.

"I'm not so sure about that," Corona put forth timidly, hesitant at how the roller coaster made many upside down loops and even dropped straight down at one point.

But Vivio would not be deterred, dropping her mamas hands to focus on her recently-made friend. "You'll love it, trust me!"

To add to Corona's horror, there wasn't much of a line, which meant they quickly made it into the ride itself, which consisted of car five rows long and four seats across, hanging from a single rail overhead. Vivio pushed Corona all the way over, while Nanoha took the other middle seat next to her, and Fate took the last seat. As the attendants fastened them in, Nanoha spied an opportunity.

"You know, Corona, these kinds of rides actually scare me a bit, too," she stated, watching Fate out of the corner of her eye, but the other woman was merely watching with mild interest.

The little girl stared at her. "But you can fly and do all sorts of stunts in the sky! Vivio showed me some recordings. Why would this scare you?"

Nanoha shrugged thoughtfully, at least as well as she could being due to the harness holding her in. "Perhaps it's because in those cases, I am in control. With something like this, someone else is in control, and the anticipation of not knowing exactly where you are going next, makes me nervous." She smiled. "Similar to the idea that you can't really tickle yourself."

"Then why do you ride them?" Corona asked curiously.

"Nanoha-mama isn't really scared of anything!" Vivio declared proudly, as the ride began to slowly move forward out of the embarkation area.

Nanoha laughed as they leisurely ascended into the sky on the single track. "There are things I am afraid of, but confronting those fears is what makes you strong. Also knowing the ones I care about are close by to help me, if anything does go wrong."

The little girl digested that, and while she did still seem afraid, she wasn't trembling as much as before. But Nanoha also noticed Fate looking rather thoughtful, at the edge of her peripheral vision. The way her face was angled slightly down, and her brow barely furrowed, were all signs Nanoha had learned to interpret over the years; and they told her now that perhaps Fate was considering her words.

"Nanoha, I-" Fate started to say, but that was as far as she got, as it melded into a yelp, that had something to do with the ride several stories in half as many seconds.

For the next minute and a half, the air was filled with the delightful squeals of Vivio and the terrified screams of Corona. As they went through the twists and turns, Nanoha wondered if she should admit that she had embellished her earlier tale just a bit; she didn't find the rides half as scary as she had told Corona, and although there were fairly strong feelings of apprehension and nervousness, that made the experience all the more fun. In short, the fear was almost a source of pleasure. She did manage to look over at Fate at one point during the ride, and was surprised to see the golden-haired woman gripping the harness so tightly that her knuckles had turned white.

"I didn't realize these rides scared you, too, Fate-chan," Nanoha teased as the car finally pulled back into the starting area.

The other woman looked a bit short on breath as her safety harness was removed. "I-I'm fine, I just think I wasn't quite... prepared for that one. I think they put this one in after my last visit."

Vivio happily leapt out of her seat, while her friend practically melted out of it. "See, Corona? It wasn't that bad; I was right next to you the whole time!"

Corona shakily accepted Vivio's hand to be lead out of the area. "Yeah... not bad... piece of cake..."

"How about we go on it again, then?" Vivio enthusiastically suggested.

When the poor girl turned an even lighter shade of white, and so Nanoha tactfully suggested, "Vivio, how about that one over there? You liked the Fairy Tail ride last time we were here. Corona might enjoy a slower ride for now. We'll let you two enjoy it and wait out here; we'll have lunch when you get out."

"Okaaay!" Vivio called back as she dragged her friend to the next ride.

The two women found a table within view of the ride, complete with a wide umbrella to shield against the sun. For a few moments, they just relaxed and engaged in smaller talk, mostly about Nanoha's current class schedule and how Vivio was doing in school. Just as Nanoha wondered how to broach the subject, Fate seemingly hit it first.

"You surprised me a bit," Fate offered with a small, amused smile. "I didn't think you'd be one to be scared of those kinds of rides. I admit I was a bit nervous, too, but it was fun. In fact, this whole day has been fun. Thank you for bringing me out. It reminds me of when I brought Caro here."

"You should thank Vivio," Nanoha replied, repeating to herself that it wasn't a total lie; even though Nanoha had suggested this particular trip, Vivio had wanted to go for awhile. "But I feel safe enough with my friends and family confessing my fears, so I figured it would help Corona to know she wasn't alone in them."

Fate quieted down after that, her gaze drifting over the noisy crowds nearby, as people moved to the next attractions. Nanoha hoped her subtle pokes were getting through; the whole idea behind this trip was to get her to open up. But if Fate herself wasn't really aware of exactly what was wrong (and more than one forum member had suggested it might be subconscious), then she wouldn't be able to tell anyone. It was the one option Nanoha was most anxious about.

"Sometimes I think..." Fate started to say, then paused, biting her lip.

Nanoha leaned forward, resting her arms on the table. "Hmm?"

Several expressions went across Fate's face, her jaw tightening ever so slightly, as if she was struggling to find the right words. "Sometimes I wonder... I'm not too sure, but..." She trailed off again, then shook her head. "Nevermind, forget it."

"No, tell me, what it is?" Nanoha probed gently.

Unfortunately, the two younger girls picked that moment to return. "We're back, mama! Can we have pizza for lunch?"

Corona was apparently very much on-board with that idea, so the two older women relented. And while Nanoha wondered how to broach the subject again, she found she couldn't; for one, another opportunity didn't really present itself, and for another, Fate had seemed to change her mind about sharing at all, so Nanoha wondered if she should.

She wondered if perhaps there was another route she could take.

x~~*~~x

Another forum poster held a rather... interesting... suggestion:

_"If the source of her fear is something she is uncomfortable with, that could be why she hasn't shared it with anyone. You might be able to help bring her out of it by scaring her with something else. A fear that's more "normal" and thus easier to talk about. By empathizing with that fear, she may open up about the more uncomfortable one that's affecting her."_

The advice seemed a bit dubious, but it did make a certain kind of sense, and it made Nanoha think; [What else could Fate-chan be afraid of?]

x~~*~~x

Nanoha held her breath as she felt Fate get up from the bed and head into the bathroom, having stayed over the night before. She stilled her breath, preparing for a shriek. [Any minute now... Just about...]

But when no screaming was evident, Nanoha sat up, just in time to see Fate exit the bathroom carrying a small creature the size of her hand.

"Not sure how this fuzzy Gentosha spider got into the bathroom, but I'll put him back outside where he belongs," Fate said, heading for the bedroom door. "Most people don't know these little guys are harmless."

Nanoha stared, and then sighed.

x~~*~~x

"Any particular reason why you suddenly wanted me to teach you to drive?" Fate asked from the passenger side of her car. "I thought you liked the public transportation system."

"Oh, no reason," Nanoha innocently declared, shifting the car and lurching it into motion like Fate had showed her, but putting a little more roughness into it then necessary.

"Careful!" Fate cautioned. "Slow and and easy at first."

The car squealed out of the driveway as Nanoha hit the accelerator, than careened in a sharp turn as she cranked the wheel and sped down the street.

Fate calmly gripped the side armrest. "Nanoha, watch the traffic lights..."

"...pedestrians have the right of way..."

"..take your foot off the gas before you shift..."

"...red means stop..."

"...that button activates the siren lights and it's not an emergency right now..."

"...however, that car behind us with lights are the traffic police, so you'll want to pull over now."

Nanoha glanced over at Fate sheepishly as the vehicle came to a rest. "Sorry, Fate-chan, but I thought I was doing well, too. I hope I didn't scare you at all."

The other woman sighed while pulling out her wallet. "It'll only be my first ticket, since I'm responsible for student drivers. I should be able to get it removed off my record after a few months. After having taught Shamal and Teana to drive, I'm used to it. If it makes you feel any better, you did much better than Shamal."

Inwardly, Nanoha still felt a bit bad about this, especially when the traffic cop showed up at her window, but Fate had shown no fear throughout the entire deal. So when the ticket was issued and the lesson continued, Nanoha decided to tone things down a bit and try and think of something else.

x~~*~~x

"Oh, Fate-chan, Hayate just called, and she said they'd like you to give the speech at the next departmental dinner and benefit next Tuesday," Nanoha informed her. "Something from your perspective as an Enforcer. It'll be in front of several thousand people, from the upper brass, to new recruits and their families."

Fate thought about that while she watched one of her shows. "Okay. I'll have a speech prepared in a day or so."

Nanoha raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't that worry you at all? The event is in four days, and you haven't spoken in front of that many people before."

"While I don't care for fancy dinners and speeches, I've handled a little public speaking before, and I have a few ideas for the speech, so I should be fine," Fate replied with a shrug.

"Mou," Nanoha sighed silently and scratched "Public Speaking" off her list.

x~~*~~x

This was her final attempt, she decided. After this, no more attempts at scaring Fate.

Or at least, that's what she told herself.

She had positioned Fate's chair closest to the hall entryway. She had pulled out all the stops for this one, so if it didn't work, then nothing else would. As they sat eating dinner with Vivio and Arf, watching a news show on the holoscreen, Nanoha subtly signaled Vivio.

"Fate-mama, did you hear the earlier news?" the little girl said, playing her part well. "A razorbear escaped from the zoo earlier today!"

"I hadn't, actually," Fate replied with mild interest. "They haven't caught it yet?"

She shook her head and hugged her body. "Not yet."

"There's been no word on it since earlier, when they were warning people not to approach, since it can be rather ferocious," Nanoha added.

Fate smiled at Vivio. "Well, we'll be safe enou-"

The roar of a mighty beast echoed throughout the room as the razorbear entered, then stood up on hind legs menacingly to tower over the quartet only a couple of meters from Fate's corner of the table.

"Eeek!" Vivio squealed appropriately, hopping into Nanoha's lap

"How did he get in?" Arf wondered aloud with a surprised growl, shifting to full wolf form.

Nanoha leapt back and put Vivio behind her, preparing to fight, but was surprised when Fate continued to sit there, unmoving. [Did it work? Is she frozen with fear?]

Fate slowly turned to look at the creature, then casually inquired, "Chrono, what are you doing?"

"Rawr?" the bear attempted again, waving the razor-sharp claws that helped give it its name.

Fate poked him with am electrically-charged finger, and the transformation magic was canceled almost immediately, leaving a certain admiral standing there in an embarrassing stance.

"Heh heh, how'd you know it was me?" he asked sheepishly.

Fate sighed. "You never were very good at transformation magic, brother.. And I seem to remember you trying this prank on me once before when we were younger..." She frowned, recalling the memory.

"Just a little humor!" he protested, waving his hands defensively while walking backwards towards the entryway. "Well, I should be going; sorry to interrupt your dinner!"

"Well, that was odd," Arf commented, watching him rapidly disappear.

x~~*~~x

"Alright, time for bed, Vivio," Nanoha called from the kitchen where she was finishing up the dishes, while Fate paused the entertainment view-screen. "It's a school night!"

"Awww, I wanted to stay up a little more," the little girl complained.

"I'll race you to see who can get ready for bed first!" Arf challenged, which Vivio instantly responded to by running for the stairs first. Arf chuckled, walking after her. "What an interesting night..."

Fate walked around the counter to help put things away. "An interesting night indeed. Say, Nanoha, do you know what that was all about earlier?"

Nanoha was glad her back was currently to Fate as she crouched down to place dishes inside a lower cabinet.. "I'm not entirely sure. Perhaps since you're back for awhile, he wanted to play a little joke."

"He's not usually the joking type," Fate reflected, closing an upper cabinet door, and then turned and waited for the brunette to stand back up. "Nanoha... what's going on?"

"I'm not sure what you mean, Fate-chan," she replied, giving her best disarming smile.

Fate seemed to struggle a bit to put it into words. "Things have been a bit strange for awhile now, and I was wondering what you knew about it. What's wrong?"

Nanoha considered offering some kind of disarming explanation, but she really didn't want to lie to her friend; she turned around and offering what she hoped was a sympathetic look. "Maybe I should be the one asking that; do you still not want to talk about it?"

Fate shifted uncomfortably, crossing her arms over her chest. "There's nothing to talk about, really. I appreciate the concern from you and Hayate and everyone else, but nothing is wrong! The past is the past, and I'll be back on duty in a week. I'm just taking a vacation! It's not like I'm some fragile porcelain doll."

She accompanied the last statement with a short laugh attempt, but it came out sounding a bit empty. Also her voice had gone up a few notches during the proclamation. But Nanoha realized Fate had probably said more than she intended to say, and the fact that Fate was still fighting it, worried her even more. The only other time Fate had resisted listening, was way back in their first meetings... and with a burst of lucidity, Nanoha realized exactly how that situation was eventually resolved. She held out her hand.

"Raging Heart, please," she intoned in an even voice, a red jewel flying into her open palm and instantly transforming into Buster mode which Nanoha pointed at Fate. "I did this once, and I'm not afraid of doing it again if I need to. If you aren't fragile like you say, then you can take it."

There was a tense moment where the golden-haired woman's eyes widened, staring at her and the staff as if she couldn't believe what was happening. And for a little while, Nanoha felt Fate would give in to the "fight or flight" impulse, one way or the other.

Instead, Fate sighed and turned away, her arms hugging her body. "Okay, maybe I'm a bit wary of retesting, but it's not a big deal. Sometimes..." She trailed off, as if searching for the words. "Lately, I suppose... I'm not sure, but I feel like sometimes I might have lost my edge. That maybe what happened to Zest is happening to me, and it just took longer in my case."

The staff lowered; Nanoha didn't expect that particular revelation. "Is that why you've resisted going to Shamal? Or talking to anyone? You're afraid you can't be an Enforcer anymore."

"Remember after the Book of Darkness incident?" Fate asked, her back still towards Nanoha. "How I said I wanted to join the Bureau to prevent more incidents from ending in sadness? If I can't... if I can't be a Bureau mage, at the front lines... then people like Erio and Caro..."

Nanoha took two steps and reached up with her right hand, placing it on Fate's left shoulder. "I was shot down once before, so I know what you're going through. That's all that's happened here, I'm sure of it. I'll help you train, if you like, so you can return to the sky without worry."

Fate finally turned and nodded, a small but grateful smile on her face. "Thank you."

"Nanoha-mama, Fate-mama, I'm ready for bed!" came Vivio's call from upstairs, interrupting the conversation.

The two women traded smiles and then headed for the stairs with Fate taking the lead, but inwardly, Nanoha was still troubled. [Is this all there is to it? Or is there really something more?] She mentally shook her head. [I'm not sure, but at least this is a start. Hopefully.]

x~~*~~x

Nanoha took one last moment before bed to check in on the forum while Fate was taking a quick shower. She wanted to see if there was anything new, and perhaps see if she could share the little progress she thought she had made. Surprisingly, there weren't any other further posts, but she did notice that she had received a personal message from a user named "MothToAFlame." Curious, she opened it up and read it:

_"Like your friend, my partner and I had to deal with many years of abuse, so we have an idea of what she may be going through. If she has internalized it in her subconscious like we did, then she probably doesn't even know what her problem is exactly. Locking things in one's one subconscious is a way for the mind to protect itself from trauma, but unless it is brought to the fore and dealt with, issues can persist._

_I can't say exactly what you can do, as each situation is unique, but it has to be brought out somehow and confronted, and then dealt with. For us, we managed to turn the source of the fear into a source of joy and love. I can give you more details if you are interested, but only if you're serious. Most people not only can't handle it, but they wouldn't understand. The choice is up to you."_

[Turning the source of fear into a source of joy and love?] Nanoha wondered, sitting back. [But how can that apply in Fate's case? Her own mother whipped her and derided her, so how would I...]

That mental thought trailed off as images of the website she had visited previously, and the dream she had several days ago, returned to her. And those thoughts were then juxtaposed by her earlier words about how she was going to help "train" Fate.

She suddenly found her cheeks burning and slapped them, closing down the forum website for now and climbing into bed. She desperately sought to shove all those thoughts aside for now, as Fate finally came out of the bathroom and laid down on the other side of the big bed while yawning a good night. As Nanoha lay there, trying to get to sleep, one thought kept repeating itself through her mind:

[What have I gotten myself into?]

Xx~~*~~xX

Author's notes:

For those wondering, Rio isn't in this because Vivio had Corona has a friend for a year or two before she met Rio, which was shortly before Vivid. I got a bit inspired for this chapter, so I was finally able to finish it, but my main focus is on Future Tense; I find I work better when I can focus on one thing, but I realize a lot of people wanted to see this continue, so I'll try. I just can't guarantee when Part 3 will come out.

Also, I'm more motivated to write things like this, when I see people playing nice in forums and reviews(not mine, as my reviewers tend to be well behaved, but what I can tend to see in other ones). Respect each other's views even if you disagree, and avoid calling anyone a troll. After all, making friends with an antagonist is something Nanoha would do. ^_~


	3. That Which is Buried

**Whipped**

**Part 3: That Which is Buried**

Xx~~*~~xX

Two figures darted across the sky, exchanging magical bullets, but there was no real antagonistic feelings involved. And to someone who really knew them, what was going on couldn't be described so much as a fight, as a dance. The pair twirled around each other as if mimicking the outline of a double helix, clashing, firing, and shielding, each in turn.

For her part, Nanoha had thought to take it easy, mostly because she intended to ramp things up little by little and she knew Fate was hesitant to push Nanoha too far. In mostly-full teacher mode, Nanoha was earnestly evaluating if the problem was as Fate believed: that she was somehow losing her edge or getting weaker somehow. So this was mock fight was the latest in a series of honest tests and evaluations of each combat aspect: speed, agility, strength, control, power and tactics. Thus far, though, Fate was demonstrating her normal level of expertise, even though combat had been mostly light so far. But for this latest round, Nanoha had arranged for this to take place far outside Clanagan where no one was around, in order to give them privacy for a good reason.

So while she found herself having fun zooming through the skies with her oldest and best friend, she knew it was time to step things up.

"I hope you're not trying to take it easy on me, Fate-chan," Nanoha warned, shifting to Exceed mode. "You know Shamal has cleared me for full combat."

"N-no, of course n-" was as far as Fate got, before the Divine Buster beam cut her off.

The lightning mage managed to mostly avoid at the last moment - it had singed the edges of her cape - but it still caught her off-guard; thus far, Nanoha had stuck to using her Axel shooter orbs, so the Buster had been a sign that Nanoha was stepping things up. Fate reacted with a quick Plasma Smasher beam once she twisted out of the way, but Nanoha dissolved in a Flash Move and fired immediately upon reappearing.

"Strike Stars!" she announced, simultaneously unleashing a large beam and a dozen guided magic missiles.

But Fate mimicked Nanoha's earlier tactic, utilizing a Sonic Move to put her out of harms way and position herself behind Nanoha with a raised Scythe. "Haken Saber!" Her opponent manged to partially twist and throw up a Round Shield with her hand just in time, but Bardiche popped several cartridges and began to cut through the impediment.

Nanoha's faint smile was Fate's only warning, letting her know that Nanoha was still thinking at least a step ahead.

Chains erupted from the pieces of the shield as it shattered, quickly entwining Fate's weapon and limbs, stopping the scythe merely millimeters from the target's neck. A hit wouldn't have done any real damage, but merely connecting would have been enough to deliver a considerably powerful stun. Nanoha backpedaled rapidly through the sky while guiding the dozen orbs from the earlier Striker Stars spell straight at Fate, hammering her from every direction.

"Excelion Buster!" Nanoha shouted, firing her stronger direct beam spell into the cloud caused by the multiple earlier impacts.

But a smoking and singed Fate shot out of the hazy smog with her Zanber Blade at the ready and cleaved through the beam, having been freed from the binds by the barrage. Nanoha barely swung out of the way to avoid being skewered by the first swing, but Fate quickly twirled with a second lightning-fast strike. Raging Heart instantly reacted with a Protection Powered barrier, which Nanoha almost immediately detonated, sending both opponents streaking away from each other with torn barrier jackets.

"Hmm, I think you're still a bit slow, Fate-chan," Nanoha observed, panting. "You might have had me with that scythe strike if you were a little faster. Are you still trying to take it easy on me?"

Fate gripped her weapon tighter and let her teeth show. "Of course not!"

Nanoha was willing to buy most of that; Fate did seem to be giving it most of her all, stepping it up when Nanoha did. At the least, it didn't seem like Fate had lost any of her edge. But there was still one thing she needed to find out, something she had been avoiding, but she knew she wouldn't be a good instructor if she didn't.

"Hmm, let's find out," Nanoha stated, holding her device out to the side. "There's a new spell I learned that I'd like to experiment with."

"Divine Strike," Raging Heart intoned, pink energy flowing out of her spear tip, forming a long, flexible tendril of magic.

Nanoha carefully watched Fate's reaction as she cracked her makeshift whip, something tugging inside her to see Fate's irises shrink and unfocus, as if she was going into a daze. There was no doubt about it now; there was a very definite reaction.

"Here I come!" Nanoha called, giving ample warning while she charged forward.

But Fate didn't move, even when Nanoha swung and the whip cracked out, striking her opponent's side. It was then that Nanoha noticed that, despite her eyes being open, Fate wasn't tracking any movement at all with them. It was almost like she was there, but no one was home, as if she she wasn't aware of anything around them. As a result, the full kinetic impact from Nanoha's improvised whip spell easily slapped the other woman sideways.

Then Nanoha watched, horrified, as Fate tumbled from the sky, making no effort to save herself.

x~~*~~x

Fate slowly blinked her eyes open, wondering exactly when she decided to take a nap. Wasn't she just in mock combat with Nanoha?

"Good morning, Fate-chan," came Nanoha's voice, but Fate detected something unreadable in her tone.

As the scene came into focus, she found herself looking up at her old friend's slightly smiling face, realizing that her head was resting in Nanoha's lap. But Fate was disturbed for two reasons: she didn't recall passing out once more, and the mysterious note in Nanoha's voice was present in her friend's eyes as well. Fate quickly sat up in the short grass, finding her side a bit achy, but otherwise she was in one piece. A part of her was tempted to ask Nanoha what happened, but she already knew and didn't want to hear it; she felt embarrassed and ashamed enough about her failure.

[I can't believe I did it again!] Fate inwardly berated herself, standing up and quickly traveling to the edge of the shade provided by the large tree. [And I can't even look at her now! How can I?] She couldn't bring herself to see the pity she knew would be in her friend's eyes; she needed to get away.

"Fate-chan," came Nanoha's voice again, freezing Fate before she could take to the air and fly away. "We need to talk."

There it was again, the odd note in her stern tone; at first Fate thought it might be disapproval or perhaps hesitation, but whatever it was, Nanoha was doing her best to hide it. But Fate knew better, and in particular, she knew Nanoha.

"Talk about what?" Fate replied calmly in a conversational tone, but inwardly she cursed herself. Even though she knew very well they had just been through this a few nights ago, she still had to force herself to listen to the small thought in her mind: [She's trying to help you, idiot!]

A ruffle of clothing let Fate know Nanoha was standing up and brushing her barrier jacket's skirt, and when she spoke again, it was in the voice of Nanoha The Instructor. "Your performance. The good news is that there is nothing wrong your reaction times, tactics, or spells."

Fate stiffened slightly, trying to keep her composure. "I sense a 'but' in there."

"I wasn't sure at first, when I learned about what happened on that case with Teana," Nanoha stated softly. "And then again in the combat session with Signum. But I just confirmed it here and now: you black out when confronted with a whip-like object."

"And?" Fate questioned as nonchalantly as possible, as if it was no big deal; but inwardly, she was trembling. She had never shared with Nanoha, exactly what Precia had done to her. Despite their friendship, it was one aspect Fate had sought to bury and try to forget.

"And I'm not entirely sure," Nanoha confessed in a surprising unsure tone, but Fate was again bugged by the feeling that Nanoha was hiding something. "Some of my students generally have something they are afraid of, but it's not normally this bad, so I can work them to confront it little by little and-"

"What makes you think I'm afraid?" Fate accused, perhaps in a bit harsher of a tone that she intended. Then a thought connected with something Nanoha had said, and she finally turned around. "Wait, you talked with Teana?"

"She was worried about you and so-" Nanoha started to say.

And there it was, the pity in Nanoha's eyes that Fate didn't want to see. Logically, she knew she shouldn't feel bad about this, but she just did. She was over all of this, or at least that's what she had tried to tell herself. She had dealt with any lingering feelings, and so she could be strong now, strong enough for Nanoha. She had to be the strong one, otherwise, how could she protect Nanoha, and other unfortunate children like Erio and Caro?

Fate turned her back towards Nanoha again. "That was classified, she shouldn't have said anything. I appreciate what she tried to do, but it doesn't mean anything."

But inwardly, she found herself unsteady and unsure. [Why? Why am I so afraid all of a sudden? Why don't I want to let her in anymore? Why can't I tell her?]

"She was concerned about you, just like Hayate, Signum and I are," Nanoha shot back. "Whether you want to admit it or not, you have a weakness. You've arrested many criminals and made many enemies over the years; if this got out and they learned about it..."

"They won't!" Fate insisted, then turned back towards Nanoha. "Unless you or someone like Teana or Hayate tells them."

"You know we won't, but what if you come up against it again by pure chance?" Nanoha pointed out. "Or what if if this Bedge person figures it out?"

Fate tried force her increasingly agitated self to calm down, but wasn't entirely successful. "Well, now that I know about it, it's no big deal. I can-"

In one smooth motion, Nanoha formed Raging Heart into spear mode, and let loose with a crack of her magic whip. The effect was immediate, as Fate immediately stiffened and went silent. However, instead of passing out, there was such a strong look of fear in Fate's eyes, that it almost broke Nanoha's heart and made her regret what she had just done. She had intended to just showcase the issue, to confront Fate with it so she'd stop fighting it, but now she suddenly felt like she had gone too far.

"I have to..." Fate started to say, then shook her head. "I have to go."

"Fate-chan, wait!" Nanoha called out as the other woman took to the air and sped off.

She was tempted to chase Fate down, but while Nanoha was more agile in the air, she knew she could never match Fate's pure speed.

"What have I done?" Nanoha asked herself, glancing down at the long pink tendril of magic.

x~~*~~x

Fate didn't return to the house that evening, but Nanoha figured the other woman would have gone to her own apartment instead, if she wanted to be alone. Even though Nanoha had opened her house to Fate to stay anytime, the other woman had insisted upon maintaining a separate apartment, not wanting to intrude upon Nanoha and Vivio too often. Now was apparently one of those times.

Not that Nanoha could blame her; what little progress she had made, had most likely been lost now. For a moment there, she was prepared to repeatedly make Fate confront her fear. It was how she had cured the fears of many trainees under her instruction before, by making them experience it over and over and showing that everything was okay. Eventually, their mind made the connection that the fear wasn't as bad as they believed it to be.

However, she hadn't seen paralyzing terror the likes of which was present in Fate's eyes, and that made it a bad call in this case. She had driven away her best friend in a single careless moment.

After spending some time with Vivio that evening and then putting her to bed, Nanoha retreated once more back into the forum, hoping for some more assistance. There were no private messages waiting, but Nanoha realized she hadn't replied to the last one from the user named MothToAFlame. She hesitated just a moment, before firing off a response indicating she was ready and wanted to know more.

And almost immediately, got a response to that one, although it wasn't just a message, but an invitation to a text only chat. Curious, Nanoha hit the accept button.

MothToAFlame: _"Hello there. :)"_

Somehow, Nanoha felt that simple action comforting, beginning to feel a bit better already, even though she wasn't entirely sure why. And over the course of the next hour, she found herself divulging much to this anonymous person, eventually explaining all that went on up to that day, and confessing her own fears about her actions.

MothToAFlame: _"I highly doubt that. If your friendship doesn't survive this, then it wasn't much of one to begin with. You coming here and considering these highly sensitive issues, means you value the relationship highly, enough to not give up on it. Your friend must know this, since you two have been together so long. Give her some time, keep the lines of communication open, and then approach her again."_

DevilMayShoot: _"You're right. I messed up, and need to apologize. I just don't know what's going through her head. Why is she acting this way? She should know me by now!"_

MothToAFlame: _"Reactions to fears can seem irrational, especially deep-seated ones. She herself may not know exactly why she's scared, and perhaps she's even afraid to find out. But it is hard to let anyone, even the closest of our friends, come onto that sacred ground. We all have our secrets we want to keep secret. If you still want to go through with this, you'll need to figure out another first step, since confronting her directly with the action that triggers her fear won't work."_

DevilMayShoot: _"What other first step? I'm honestly not sure what to do now..."_

MothToAFlame: _"It has to do with what you wanted to know... keep in mind that it takes a strong person to consider these, but it may be just the thing to get you two on the right track. But it might require more of you than you can do, so only you can decide; it won't be easy. I'll list out some options, and you can think about which one might be best..."_

As Nanoha read through the list on the screen, her eyes grew wide and she swallowed nervously. Something in the list _did_ jump out at her, and she found her hands a bit shaky that she was even considering it. MothToAFlame was right; this _wasn't_ going to be easy for her.

x~~*~~x

"Oh, Fate, what can I do for you?" Teana asked with a pleasant smile, looking up to see the woman enter the gun mage's office.

Fate waited for the door to slide closed behind her, and then directly asked, "Teana, did you tell Nanoha everything about the Bedge case?"

Teana blanched slightly. "I'm sorry, but I knew she'd understand since the two of you were so close."

Fate frowned. "I appreciate your thoughts behind the matter, but I would also appreciate in the future if you would come to me first, before disclosing classified case details to anyone, no matter who."

"I understand your feelings," Teana explained tactfully. "But I really want you back out there with me, since I have more to learn from you, and I'd like you along for when we recapture Bedge. We're not your enemies here, Fate."

The senior Enforcer sighed. "I know that and..." She trailed off and paused, fixing Teana with a stare. "Wait, what did you say?"

x~~*~~x

"Here are the reports you wanted on the current batch of trainees," Nanoha stated, placing the datapad on the desk.

Hayate smiled and picked it up, lightly scanning the information readout. "Thank you! The 108th battalion has had some openings recently, and Genya asked me to keep an eye on your cadets for any possible recruits. He's generally found the quality of students graduating from your classes to be a bit higher quality than the average."

Nanoha couldn't hide a prideful smile, but tried to defer the praise. "I'm just lucky to have such talented students. I'm sure you'll find they're all worthy, but I can probably help you pick out a few candidates if you let me know what positions Genya would like filled."

"I can probably do that," Hayate stated, then thought about it a bit more. "In fact, I can probably arrange at least a three-way conference call later this afternoon or tomorrow, if not a meeting, so we can both talk to him. Rein, would you take care of it?"

The much smaller woman smiled gleefully and nodded from her own tiny desk. "Will do!"

Nanoha couldn't help but smile as Rein opened a window and began scheduling messages. The little unison device had become quite an able aide-de-camp to Hayate over the years. Nanoha opened her mouth to comment, but was forestalled by the door to Hayate's office swishing open.

"Hayate, Teana just informed me that Wiggs Bedge has escaped," Fate blurted as she walked up to the desk, the door barely shutting in time before she started speaking.

Hayate folded her hands in front of her face, looking decidedly nonplussed. "That's correct."

Fate straightened up, placing a hand on her right hip and asked pointedly, "Why wasn't I told?"

"I didn't consider it that big of an issue, and you're currently off duty," Hayate explained.

"I need to be reactivated, so I can go after him," Fate stated, apparently taking the direct approach. If she took notice of Nanoha sitting there, the brunette couldn't see any sign, which made her hesitant about breaking into the conversation.

Hayate shook her head. "I'm sorry, I can't put you back on active duty until you pass your combat reexamination test. The rules are very clear."

"It was my investigation that led to his capture in the first place!" Fate pronounced, leaning over slightly while slapping her palms down on the table.

"And Teana was with you," Hayate countered, and then lowered her hands to her lap while leaning back a bit in her chair. "She'll be heading up the recapture investigation, since she is familiar with all the details. If you can pass your combat exam, I'll put you back in charge, but for now, you are temporarily relieved of duty." She sighed. "Look, as your friend, I understand, but my hands are tied in this. I want you back out there more than anyone."

Fate's face visibly tightened, but then relaxed. "You can still clear me for special duty in this one instance. Just until this case is done, then I'll go back off duty until I pass the reexamination, I promise."

There was quite detectable note of pleading in Fate's voice, and silence gripped the small office after Fate's request. She wanted to speak, but found she couldn't, and instead glanced at Hayate who was studying Fate very seriously. Nanoha was honestly wondering which way Hayate would go on this when the woman glanced her way; the question in her eyes was obvious. Nanoha wanted to to give the okay, but she bit her lip and lowered her eyes instead as her way of answering Hayate's unspoken question.

The Lt. Colonel sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry but I can't. Not with your history with this case, and not with an unresolved issue hanging over your head. I can't, in good conscience, let you recklessly put yourself in harm's way in this manner."

The clenching of Fate's jaw was quite visible to Nanoha from her position to the side, even as the woman tried to project an air of calm while straitening up. "I see. Well then, thank you for your time."

Before Hayate could reply, Fate turned and strode out of the office. Nanoha glanced back and forth between the door and Hayate for a moment, before taking off after Fate.

x~~*~~x

Nanoha didn't know what she was going to say, but it turned out that she'd have plenty of time to think about it. Fate's elevator closed before Nanoha could reach it and by the time the brunette reached the ground floor, she was informed Fate had already left the premises. Debating with herself a moment, Nanoha caught a bus and headed across town, and before she knew it, she was standing in front of Fate's apartment, finger poised over the doorbell.

She still didn't know what to say, and there were thoughts lingering in the back of her mind, taunting her with what could happen if she did indeed confront Fate now. The ideas scared her, but on the ride over, she had just told herself that she could turn back anytime. She didn't have to do this. But now, with the door in front of her and the moment of truth upon her, there were no more potential excuses to use.

[And I've haven't run away from a challenge yet,] Nanoha told herself, the thought giving her enough of a courage boost to push the button.

For a moment, she thought Fate might have gone elsewhere, but then the door slid open and the familiar face greeted her. "Nanoha... what can I do for you?"

"Can I come in?" Nanoha asked hesitantly.

The golden-haired woman seemed to think about it, then nodded, heading down the short hall to the living room while Nanoha stepped in and let the door slide closed behind her. Having a quick thought, she made sure the door was locked before following.

"I'll get you some tea," Fate offered, taking a detour into the small kitchen. "Have a seat."

But Nanoha elected to remain standing, just across the small counter than separated the kitchen and living room while she wondered how to broach the subject. "About what happened today..."

"There's nothing to talk about," Fate said simply, turning the stove on to begin heating a kettle. "Hayate has her own rules she must follow."

"No, that's not entirely what I meant," Nanoha tried to insist, then hardened herself. "Well, sort of; Hayate didn't deserve that, and you know it. Why are you trying to push your friends away? Does this idea of a weakness so scare you, that you feel we can't deal with it? Because if that's the case, it's not. We don't think any less of you."

Fate paused, hunched over the counter, not facing Nanoha so it was hard for the brunette to know what the other woman was thinking. "Okay, you're right, it wasn't fair of me. I'll go back and apologize tomorrow, if that's what you want."

Nanoha frowned; something about the way Fate was acting, and the way she spoke, was giving her a distinct impression. But she just couldn't figure it out, so she tried a different tack. "And I wanted to apologize for pushing you when we were training."

"It's okay," Fate told her, still not turning around. "You did what you could. I'll do the rest on my own. Is that all you wanted to say?"

[She's acting badly, and she has to know that,] Nanoha realized, which led to another light bulb moment. [On purpose?] Somethings began to snap into place.

_"She'd knock something over, like a glass of juice, or not finish her dinner, or make a mess, or just decide she didn't want to do her chores. She'd apologize, but then do it again, almost deliberately. Eventually, I had to start some punishments, which mostly consisted of sending her to her room. It was as if she was behaving like a five-year-old exploring their boundaries, instead of her real age."_

[Could it possibly be?] Nanoha continued to wonder, and then bit her lip as more of Lindy's words came to her, the thought making her redden slightly. [Could I... do that?] She immediately shook her head. [But that's crazy! I couldn't possibly... It's ridiculous!]

Images flashed through her mind as her eyes unconsciously traversed Fate's backside., and she had to clench her trembling fists in order to steady them. Now she finally understood what MothToAFlame was saying about what kind of strength this might take. She realized there probably wasn't anything else she could say to get through to Fate, so it might be time to take a desperate gamble.

Her heart beating rapidly in her chest with the enormity of the decision she had just made, Nanoha went around to the other side of the counter and took ahold of Fate's wrist. "There is one more thing..."

"Nanoha?" Fate questioned as the brunette pulled the other woman into the living room. "What are you... Nanoha?"

In one smooth motion, Nanoha sat down and pulled Fate face down across her lap and bound the woman with a Restrict Lock spell, then raised her left hand.

"Nanoha, what are you doing?" Fate appealed with more than a little surprise, but also some fear creeping into her voice.

"I do this because I care," Nanoha forced herself to say, a phrase she had uttered during the rare moments when Vivio did something that required punishment.

As she found herself in hesitation, Nanoha realized this was a watershed moment for herself, too. And despite how weird she was feeling, she had committed to her course, and thus brought the hand down on Fate's pert miniskirt-covered derriere. A smacking sound echoed in the small room, but Nanoha knew the walls were well soundproofed. Fate let out a startled yelp, but it was more likely in surprise than any pain, as Nanoha hadn't put a while lot of force into it; just enough to smart a little. She hardened herself to continue, raising the hand and bringing it down once more.

"N-Nanoha!" Fate exclaimed, a desperate plea in her breaking voice, which almost made Nanoha reconsider.

But there was one thing that changed her mind: the bind spell wasn't that strong. With a little effort, Fate could have easily broken out of it. But she didn't.

_Smack!_

The hand came down again and again as Fate dissolved into tears. But Nanoha almost felt like she was outside her body, her arm moving of it's own accord now. What was she doing again? Why was she doing it? The answers, which had seemed so clear earlier, escaped her now. Right now, there was only one thing.

_Smack!_

Nanoha noticed other things now, such as how Fate jolted in her lap. Also, the bind spell was dissolved anyway somewhere along the way, although Nanoha didn't know whether she did it subconsciously or whether Fate broke it. But still, Fate didn't move, having gone almost too quiet. Figuring it was enough, Nanoha gave one final hit and then pulled the sobbing woman upright, laying Fate's head against her chest. With her right hand, she gently stroked Fate's back, while her left ran her fingers through the golden mane of hair.

Her body still shaking itself, and unsure of what else to do, she was surprised when Fate grabbed handfuls of Nanoha's top and smothered her tears into the brunette's shoulder. As if a dam had broken and released a torrent, and the grown woman had become a scared child, shivering and shaking in her arms. Nanoha was trembling herself, now realizing that the simple action had exerted a powerful effect on her as well, but there were no words to describe. So, for a few minutes, Nanoha let Fate cry herself out, trying to think of how awkward and surreal this whole situation had become.

"I-I-m s-sorry!" came the nearly imperceptible words intermixed between the sniffing and weeping. "I'm s-so sorry!"

The words stung a bit, making Nanoha feel a bit guilty for what she had done. That wasn't her intent, though. She had punished Vivio before, but never in this manner, and it didn't make her feel as bad. Strangely however, Nanoha felt her own trembling begin to subside as she continued stroking Fate's hair.

"Shh, it's okay, it's alright now," she soothed, trying to hide her own nervousness at the circumstances, rocking the other woman gently.

She was also unsure how long they'd be like that, since even after Fate's sobbing subsided, she still left her face buried in Nanoha's shoulder. Then the tea kettle begin to whistle, startling both women, but perhaps Fate most of all.

"I-I should get that," Fate insisted, quickly disentangling herself and standing up, heading for the kitchen.

Nanoha was almost loathe to let her go, but truth be told, it was getting a bit uncomfortable physically. She took the opportunity to stretch, and also glance down with a bit of amusement at the now mostly soaked top of her white instructor's outfit. Gingerly, she peeled off the outer coat, but noticed her inner shirt was wet as well and sighed.

"I-I'm sorry," Fate apologized again suddenly in a tone and attitude far meeker than Nanoha could ever recall seeing from her, cups rattling against the tray slightly as Fate's trembling hands set them down on the coffee table. "I'll get you a towel and another shirt."

"It's okay," Nanoha started to say, but Fate was gone and then back again with the two objects in question. "Thank you."

It was almost amusing, how red Fate's face had become, indicating how embarrassed she felt. "I'll throw your clothes into the wash. I'm so sorry!"

"Fate-chan, stop apologizing already!" Nanoha commanded in a huff, growing a bit annoyed as she put on the new shirt. "You've done enough of that now."

"I'm..." Fate started to say from the small laundry room down the hall, then stopped herself.

When she came back, Nanoha was surprised to see a slight smile on the other woman's face; the first Nanoha had seen from the woman in what seemed like a long time. Nanoha shifted over on the couch enough for Fate to sit beside her, but the woman appeared nervous about doing so until Nanoha gave her some encouragement that it was alright. The two women focused on sipping tea, the atmosphere growing silent, as if both were afraid to talk about what had just happened. But that left Nanoha pondering what to do next. She figured the actual spanking would have been the hard part, but now that it was over and things were quiet, Nanoha found herself at a loss for words.

[What does one say after one has just spanked one's closest friend?] Nanoha wondered wryly. She opened her mouth a couple of times to say something, but just as quickly closed it again, before noticing Fate adjusting herself on the couch. "Are you... okay?"

And berated herself almost immediately for asking. [Stupid thing to ask! It was a spanking, it was supposed to hurt, and if you were that concerned, why did you hit her?]

Fate nodded slightly. "I-I'm okay. I'm not sure what... came over me."

Nanoha hid an embarrassed smile. "That makes two of us."

Fate finally turned to look at Nanoha, and the brunette felt her ears burning under the scrutiny. She felt relief when Fate's attention returned to her teacup and took another noisy sip. Nanoha wondered if fate would ask her why she did that, or one of a hundred other questions Nanoha wasn't sure she could answer. But Fate didn't, probably just as unsure how to address what had just happened.

"Nanoha?" Fate questioned, and odd note in her voice. "Would you..." She paused and bit her lip, then started again. "Would you stay the night? Over here?"

Nanoha finally turned and gave a warm smile, while raising her hand and calling up a holographic video screen. "Of course. Just let me contact Aina so Vivio is taken care of."

x~~*~~x

Fate turned over, unable to really sleep much, having awoken several times during the night already. She wasn't quite sure why she was still disturbed, although she did have an idea. She saw Nanoha's sleeping face not that far away, and her feelings flashed backward to that moment earlier in the day when Nanoha had... spanked her.

She was still trying to sort her feelings out over that. She supposed she should have been angry, humiliated and upset, but she wasn't, and she didn't know why. Oh sure, there was much embarrassment, but she strangely felt cared for, too. The biggest question on her mind, though, was what possessed Nanoha to take that step in the first place. It was a question she dared not ask, however.

Nanoha mumbled a little bit and gripped her pillow tighter, but Fate couldn't make out the words. Still, the small action brought a tender smile to her face.

They had shared sleeping arrangements since they were children, so Fate was used to it. In fact, she couldn't quite ever recall sleeping alone. From her memories, Alicia tended to sleep alone or with Linith the cat, but Fate was a different story. She had the familiar Linith with her, and then Arf shared her bed for the longest time. When Arf retired from active service, Fate had Erio and then Caro who occasionally slept with her; so one way or another, her body had grown used to having another form there. Thus, when she shared those Captain's quarters with Nanoha, it was a continuation of the trend, especially later with Vivio joining them. And something she never would admit, was that it was a large reason why she occasionally spent the night over at Nanoha's house; while she could sleep alone, she found she did sleep better with another body nearby.

And then she frowned as her mind began to shift away from her long and colorful history with Nanoha, to another subject that wasn't quite as happy. Wiggs Bedge had escaped, and somehow that hung over her head and made her insides tremble with a bit of nausea. She could admit to herself why she had an issue now, and somehow she felt that she'd never be truly over it unless she could face him again. Although it wasn't quite him personally, but more what he represented.

"If I don't face him, then I'm going to stay like this, beaten," Fate whispered softly towards the sleeping Nanoha. "I have to get over this, one way or another. So, I'm sorry about this, Nanoha."

Fate leaned down to gently place her lips against Nanoha's forehead, and then lightly slipped out of bed.

x~~*~~x

The second ringing of the doorbell was what finally woke her up, and for a bleary-eyed moment when she realized Fate wasn't next to her, Nanoha wondered why the other woman wasn't answering her own door.

"Fate-chan?" Nanoha called with a yawn, but didn't receive a response.

[Maybe she stepped out for a moment?] Nanoha wondered, then yawned again while grabbing a bathrobe on the way to the door. When opening it slightly revealed the faces of Hayate and Teana, she pushed it wider ajar. "What is it?"

"Where's Fate?" Hayate asked, something in her tone.

Nanoha blinked. "Um, I'm not sure. I think she stepped out for a bit, as I didn't see her when I woke up." She finally registered the serious concern on the pair's faces. "What happened?"

"My office was broken into last night," Teana stated when Hayate nodded at her. "I ran a preliminary investigation, but I almost couldn't believe what I found."

Nanoha's eyes narrowed, sensing the hesitancy in Teana's voice, and suddenly feared the worst. "What is it? What did you find?"

"Fate's access code was used to override my computer's firewall protections," the gun mage explained . "In particular, she accessed the data regarding Bedge's escape."

"She wouldn't," Nanoha whispered, trembling.

But inwardly she knew very well what it meant; Fate was going after Wiggs Bedge herself.

Xx~~*~~xX

Author's notes:

I was going to work on Perils of Lost Logia II, but got inspired and so managed to finish off this chapter first. The subject matter is a bit different than people are probably used to, but I hope I'm portraying things well enough. Part 4 should be the last part, although there may be a fifth part that might be part epilogue and part sidestory. We'll see.


	4. Soul Searching

**Whipped**

**Part 4: Soul Searching**

Xx~~*~~xX

Nanoha closed her eyes, leaning her head back and focusing on the dull roar of the _Milda_'s engines in an attempt to calm her nerves, and not entirely succeeding.

_"She can't possibly be thinking of going after him!" Nanoha protested._

_"That's why we need to know where she is," Hayate restated. "Did she say or do anything about where she might be going?"_

_"No, she didn't," Nanoha admitted, shaking her head._

Nanoha realized that they didn't exactly talk much after... what happened. But she felt fairly confident that there had been a breakthrough of sorts, and didn't even stop to consider that Fate would pull this kind of stunt. At least not without telling her.

"You are thinking about her again," Signum stated simply from the seat next to hers on the civilian transport. It wasn't a question.

_"I have three tickets for a transport that leaves in two hours, and I want you and Teana on it," Hayate informed her succinctly._

_"Three?" Nanoha questioned, raising an eyebrow. "Who is the third?"_

_Hayate half-smiled. "Signum. Other than you, she is the only other person I know who can take Fate down in a fight." Her smiled turned grim. "You have to either capture Bedge, or stop Fate any way you can."_

_Something occurred to Nanoha. "But what about-"_

_"Vita has already agreed to take over your classes for the next few days," Hayate finished for her. "You just focus on bringing Fate home."_

Nanoha sighed, not bothering to deny the obvious. "I still can't believe she did this."

Nanoha wanted to talk about the exact reason why she knew Fate was in such serious trouble, but she wouldn't feel right sharing those kinds of details, even with Signum. Fate still had that weakness, and from what Nanoha knew of Bedge's magic style, Fate would lose and be hurt badly, or worse, even killed outright.

"Because she is a warrior," the Belkan knight stated matter-of-factly, and then noticed the look Nanoha was giving her. "Well, you are a warrior, too, of course. But of a different type, and so perhaps that is why you two complement each other so well in battle. What I mean to say, is that Testarossa is more like me. But she has been injured, up here," Signum tapped her head for emphasis, "and now feels she has redeem herself. The most terrifying opponent is the one in one's own mind, and that is something she seeks to conquer. She won't regain her warrior's pride until she does."

"But she'll get herself killed!" Nanoha repeated, exasperated.

Signum nodded sadly. "That is always the risk. But were it not Hayate's orders, I would normally let her attempt this. No matter how hard it might seem, there are times when you must let a warrior attempt to stand or fall on her own."

Nanoha shook her head. "Perhaps eventually, but I can't let her do that just yet."

"Ah," Signum said simply, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. "I understand."

Teana picked that moment to return, sitting back down in the aisle seat. "I just talked to the captain. We'll be rendezvousing with the Bureau cruiser _Liete_ in 20 minutes, which will take us the rest of the way to Alent."

That was the name of the world where Bedge had escaped to. It had a penal colony in system that he was being transported to, but he managed to break out of his cell as the ship was arriving and take an escape pod to the surface. The local authorities had launched a search, but by the time they found the pod, he was long gone.

"Even though all outbound traffic was immediately monitored and/or halted to ensure he couldn't get offworld, it's still a big planet," Teana noted. "We have our work cut out for us. Unless Fate decides to leave us some more clues."

_"Can I speak to you for a minute?" Teana approached Nanoha and asked, as the pair waited to board._

_Nanoha nodded. "What is it?"_

_"We didn't get a chance to speak much about it, but there was something unusual about the break-in," Teana explained. "Namely, that Fate used her access code at all."_

_"I don't understand," Nanoha said, perplexed._

_"I've seen Fate use Bardiche to hack systems before," Teana elaborated. "She could have been in and out of my computer without leaving us a trace that it was her. Or at least in a manner that would take us days, if not weeks, to find out."_

_Nanoha's eyes lit up in understanding. "She deliberately told us what she was planning?"_

_"Or is really off her game, but I'd go with your explanation," Teana agreed. "I'm not entirely sure why, but I think part of her wants to be stopped."_

_Nanoha thought about what Lindy had told her about Fate's childhood, and nodded slightly. "I think you may be right."_

Nanoha glanced out the window, the ever-shifting array of colors almost soothing as the ship traveled through the dimensional sea. "I think she will. I just hope we can find them and her, before she finds Bedge."

x~~*~~x

"...and here is the capsule," Marso indicated, waving his hand in the direction of the object. In addition to being their guide, he was the local police captain for this particular province of Alent. "Per your directions, we haven't touched it much. Just cordoned it off, took some pictures, and searched the area. We found some initial tracks in the mud, but only around the capsule, as you can see."

"So our quarry escaped by air," Signum concluded.

"That was our thought," Marso agreed, nodding. "Unfortunately, he must have kept his flight low, below the treetops, so we were unable to track him. I'm sorry we don't have more for you."

"That's okay, thanks for all your help," Teana reassured him, then brought out her device while heading towards the escape capsule. "I'll interface Cross Mirage with the capsule's computer; maybe I can learn something."

[Had Fate even been here?] Nanoha wondered, then immediately discarded that thought. [Of course she would; she'd have to begin her investigation the same way we did. But then, what way did she go? Did she find anything here?]

"As I do not have the detective skills you possess, I would like to join your search teams, Captain Marso," Signum declared, then turned to the silent brunette. "Nanoha, what will you do?"

Lost in thought, Nanoha jerked her head up. "Um, I think I'll look around, too, but by myself. It'll be easier that way, with the search spells I have prepared."

Teana leapt into the capsule and settled into the seat. "Then we'll check back in with each other in... two hours. Or earlier if you find something."

Signum gave a short head nod before heading off with Marso. "Ah, will do."

Nanoha gave a nod as well, then activated her barrier jacket and took to the sky, releasing dozens of pink orbs in all directions. The Wide Area Search was one of her first original spells, made up in the heat of the moment, but she had refined and improved it greatly in the years since. It had proven critical in finding Quattro in the Cradle so she could free Vivio, but as Nanoha flew just above the treetops, she wondered if it would do any good here. The criminal Bedge had flown away, probably leaving no trail. Fate would have tried to follow him similarly, so would there really be anything to find? And what would Nanoha even say to her, if she found Fate?

That last question was weighing more and more on her mind, especially as it went back to her last encounter with Fate. Her cheeks reddening slightly at the recollection of the spanking she had administered, and she was beginning to wonder what she had been thinking. Somehow, at the time, it had seemed like a good idea, but she wasn't so sure now. Fate had become much more... demure and passive in the wake of the action, which Nanoha took to be a sign she had gotten over her stubborn streak about this whole thing. But then the woman had up and disappeared on this quest to bring Bedge back in.

Not that Nanoha could really blame her; being an Enforcer was in Fate's blood. She wanted to use her power to save as many children as she could, to prevent sad things from happening like they had with Hayate. In much the same way, Nanoha wanted to teach, and she couldn't imagine not being able to spread her wings in the sky anymore. That's why she ha fought so desperately to come back from her near-crippling accident.

[Both of us are similar in that regard,] Nanoha mused. [We both have things we live to do, and we'll both go through anything to keep doing it.]

As the greenery passed by beneath her, the question still murked about in the back of her mind: What would she say and do if - Nanoha shook her head - _when_ she found Fate? Although, despite the change in her assertion, she was beginning to realize that Fate would only be found, if the woman _wanted_ to be found.

"Master!" Raging Heart chirped, bringing her up short. Her device opened a holographic screen once Nanoha had fully stopped in mid-air.

And her mouth dropped open at the familiar sight. Raging Heart opened a picture in a second screen to compare and confirm with the first image, although it didn't need to; Nanoha recognized the picture almost immediately. In the second screen, there was a child's drawing by Vivio, done shortly after a field trip to Earth. It contained four specific animals she had learned about while visiting Nanoha's parents in Japan. One of them matched up to blackened outline on a large rock face that one of her orbs had discovered. Analysis left no doubt that lightning had etched the image into the stone.

It was Vivio's interpretation of Byakko, the White Tiger, also known as the guardian of the west.

No one else could possibly recognize the crude, childish almost stick-figure like drawing for what it was, which only meant one thing: Fate deliberately left it for Nanoha to find. Fate had headed west, and didn't want anyone else coming. The implications were clear.

Nanoha opened a communication channel. "Teana? This is Nanoha. I may have found something, but it might be nothing. I'm going to follow it up anyway, so I'll be moving further away. I'll get back to you later."

"I might be on to something, too," came the reply. "Cross Mirage confirms that Bardiche accessed the capsule's systems, but then deleted the data. I've patched a link in with Shari, and together with Cross Mirage, we're going to try and reconstruct the data. No idea how long it will take, or whether we'll even find anything of interest. Keep me posted on what you find, and good luck!"

Nanoha signed off and took a breath, before heading off to the west.

_Good luck, indeed._

x~~*~~x

Hope had gradually turned into frustration and despair as the day wore on. By sundown, despite some progress, Nanoha didn't feel any closer to finding Fate. Oh sure, she had found crude childish drawings of Suzaku and Sei-Ryu, code for south and then east, but that was it. The path had led her through a couple of villages, but no one had seen anyone with her description, nor Bedge's. That gave rise to an uncomfortable thought.

[Did Fate change her mind?] she wondered, then immediately tried to shake that thought. [She's led me this far, so I have to believe it was for a reason.]

But she had to admit it was hard to cling to that hope, now that the sun was going down. As she flew just above the trees, she realized she should find a place to spend the night, and resume the search tomorrow in a refreshed mood. The dark clouds roiling above her made her especially anxois about spending the night outside; some cover would be nice. Just when she was wondering if she'd have to rough it, she spotted smoke rising in the distance, from a lone cabin's chimney among the trees. The flash of a solitary lightning bolt nearby, made her heart jump for some reason.

[Just in time,] she mused as she landed in front of the cabin and stepped under the eaves overhanging the front door while deactivating her barrier jacket. Several rain drops had begun to fall, but Nanoha ignored that and knocked on the door. However, there was no response from within, and a quick check of the windows revealed darkness inside. [That's odd; smoke indicates a fire within, but is there no one here?] Curious, she tried the doorknob and found it unlocked.

The door whined loudly as it swung slowly open, and Nanoha took a hesitant step forward. "Hello? Anyone here? I don't mean to intrude, but I was curious if I could spend the night here."

She waited just past the door for several minutes, before a voice finally answered her. "Don't come any closer."

Nanoha paused, her heart immediately tightening in her chest as she dared entertain the thought. "Fate-chan?"

There was a bit of hesitation, before she received a "...yes."

Nanoha took a step forward, her eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness while the door closed behind her. "We've been looking for you and-"

"Don't come any closer!" Fate repeated the command, but despite the forcefulness, Nanoha could detect a tinge of fear there and it made her heart tighten in her chest once more.

"I won't," she replied, pausing. The particular angle of the windows meant that only a little light spilled in from the occasional lightning flashes outside, just enough for Nanoha to detect a bit of shadow movement from the upper level. She could just make out a ladder that led to an open loft. "But we've been worried about you. And I followed your signs, so you must have wanted me here."

Fate's sigh was clearly audible. "I knew you'd come, probably along with Teana. I figured Hayate would send you. I wanted to tell you not to interfere, and let me finish what I started. I need to do this."

"I know you do," Nanoha spoke softly into the darkness. "I know what it's like to feel helpless, and to want to get back out there prove one is still capable." Her voice turned a bit stern as she directed her gaze upwards once more. "You could have told them that directly via a communication. But you left clues for me to follow, that only I would know how to interpret, so that you could see me in person. Why?"

"I..." Fate began, and then paused as lightning flashed once more outside. "I wanted to apologize in person for leaving like I did. It wasn't fair to you, but I also knew you'd try to stop me."

"Do you know why I would have?" Nanoha inquired, trying to keep her talking while also trying to think of how to get her down from up there. From what she could detect, Fate was near a window. Nanoha knew the moment she attempted to go up there, Fate would be out that window and miles away, and Nanoha knew she was no match for the other woman's speed.

The response was near immediate, but the tone was soft. "I know. I've had a lot of time to think. I'm not so blind as to deny the reason. Mother, Precia... abused me. I was able to accept that a long time ago, although I tried not to think of it much. Whenever she raised her hand or an object, I just knew I had done something wrong and so deserved to be punished. After a time, I learned to almost... disconnect my mind from my body. It was subconscious reaction that I thought I had overcome and put behind me long ago, but for some reason, it's back." There was a pause, and now that Nanoha's eyes were mostly adjusted to the dim light level, she could vaguely see Fate's lowered head suddenly rise up. "I appreciate you trying to help me, but I need to face him. I need to face this. It's the only way to overcome it. I'm no good to anyone like this!"

Fate's voice had gradually grown in volume and fierce determination as she spoke, but Nanoha could still detect the doubt underneath. As she searched for words, she dimly realized that the patter of rain on the roof had slowly increased in frequency and volume, and now presented a tempo backdrop to their conversation.

"And I want to let you, but I know what will happen if you try to fight Bedge!" Nanoha countered, equally as fierce.

"So we're at an impasse," Fate noted impassively. "But you can't stop me. I'm sorry, but I need to do this."

Words finally failed Nanoha. She needed to think of something, anything, to say to stop Fate, but for once in her life, she didn't know. She couldn't just fight Fate, either, as the other woman wouldn't even give her the chance. So what would?

"You could have told me all this in an e-mail, or some other form of communication," Nanoha slowly reasoned. "But you wanted me here. You led me here. Why? You never answered that question." Teana's words and reasoning came back to her. "You want me to stop you, don't you?"

"What? No!" Fate blurted almost immediately, hands immediately going up in a waving defensive posture. "I just..."

Nanoha pressed her advantage. "Then why? You said yourself that you know when punishment was deserved. I think a part of you knows that, at least."

Silence greeted her, only broken up by the rain's steady tempo upon the roof. Had she pushed too far? Nanoha was beginning to doubt the wisdom of her words.

"Why did you..." Fate started to say eventually, her voice strangely curious and hesitant. Nanoha was taken aback; was Fate... flustered? "Why did you... do that?"

"What do you mean?" Nanoha questioned, clueless. And then almost immediately, the only thing Fate could be referring to, came to mind. And it made Nanoha's ears heat up. "Oh... that." For once, she was grateful for the darkness. But why had she done that? Suddenly, the reasons escaped her; only the feeling remained that it somehow made sense at the time. "I'm not sure... did I make you uncomfortable?" She immediately cursed herself; what a stupid thing to say!

"A little," Fate admitted, which caused Nanoha's hear to sink, but then it was buoyed again by the next words from the other woman's lips. "But I also felt strangely... comforted."

That brought Nanoha up short. "Comforted?" There was an odd note in Fate's voice, that Nanoha couldn't quite decipher.

Fate shook her head. "I don't know. Anyway, I've said what I needed to. I'm going to leave now."

"Wait!" Nanoha cried, taking a step forward even as she sensed Fate move closer to the window on the upper level. She really felt that if she let Fate leave now, she'd never see the other woman again.

"Please, don't try and stop me!" Fate's voice firm, but trembling voice pleaded. "Let me do this!"

Nanoha thought quickly. "I won't stop you... but what if I can give you a better chance?"

That seemed to make Fate pause. "...what do you mean? I have to fight him alone. You can't help."

Nanoha risked a step forward, biting her lip. "I know that. But I think I know some... training, that might help you deal with your blackout issue."

Moth_to_A_Flame's words echoed in her mind. _"I can't say exactly what you can do, as each situation is unique, but it has to be brought out somehow and confronted, and then dealt with. For us, we managed to turn the source of the fear into a source of joy and love."_

"There's no time for anymore training," Fate replied, clearly doubtful. "I know where he'll be tomorrow, and I plan to confront him then."

"Tonight," Nanoha countered, blood pumping loudly in her ears. "This training will only take one night. And then I promise, regardless of the results, I'll let you confront him tomorrow. I'll even stop Signum and Teana from finding you before then. I promise."

The rain on the roof and the thunder that occasionally crashed outside, was near-deafening in the silence that followed. Nanoha was betting everything on this, and her heart and mind was pleading for Fate to accept. She was holding her breath, as if even the act of exhaling would cause Fate to reconsider, or to disappear during the next flash of lightning.

_Please let this work!_

Fate's eventual reply was a bit hesitant. "You promise to let me go, regardless of how things work out?"

Nanoha understood she was being given a chance here, and if she attempted anything beyond the promise, the trust would be broken. Her voice was firm, if a bit wavering. "I promise."

And then Fate was suddenly in front of her, curiosity and uneasiness written across her now easily-visible facial features. "So... what is this training?"

x~~*~~x

She couldn't see Nanoha clearly in the darkness, but she almost got the impression the other woman was hesitating. Fate had to admit, she was a bit curious about what Nanoha had in mind; what could possibly prepare her for Bedge? And then whatever contemplation the brunette had been going through must have ended, for Nanoha raised her left arm.

Fate's eyes widened in surprised as she she found herself lifted slightly off the floor, arms pulled to the sides while circular pink binds snapped into place onto wrists and ankles."Nanoha...? What...?"

And then her long time, most precious friend was hugging her tightly, speaking with a soft voice into Fate's left ear. "Do you trust me?"

Something about the way she said it, and the way Fate could detect the almost imperceptible tremble coming from Nanoha's body, made Fate's heart do a little jump. "Y-yes, of course."

"Then always remember, it's me, and I'm here," Nanoha spoke softly, almost breathlessly.

Before Fate could question that, a surprised yelp escaped her lips as a sharp pain streaked across her backside, as if she had been struck with something.

No, that wasn't quite right; Fate's body knew _exactly_ what is was: the lash of a whip. But both of Nanoha's arms were still holding her, squeezing a bit tighter, so Fate realized this must have been some sort of magic spell in play. And all at once, she realized exactly what Nanoha had in mind, and it terrified her.

Then it lashed out again before she could speak or protest, sending another agonizing streak diagonally down her backside again, and once more Fate's voice cried out. "N-Nanoha...!"

But almost immediately, Nanoha's hands were there, softly rubbing the searing wound that was left behind, still speaking softly into Fate's ear. "Shh, it's okay, I'm here. But you must endure, because you did a bad thing."

The words, and the breath of her ear, made her shiver involuntarily, but it wasn't just due to those. The fingers had touched skin, which made Fate realize the lashing magic had torn open the back of her barrier jacket. The combined sensations had left her trembling; if it wasn't for the binds, she would have easily collapsed. She felt weak, like a rag doll, helpless, and no longer in control of her body at all.

A third strike came in almost immediately, eliciting another pained cry, and she found her vision blurring. At first she thought she was going to pass out, but then she realized that there were tears in her eyes. [When did they get there?]

_*crack!* *crack!*_

A fourth and a fifth followed in quick succession, and she found she had lost control of her voice as a combined hiccup and sniffle escaped after the pained cry. And then Nanoha's fingers were there once more, gently stroking the searing flesh on her backside, and somehow, that kept her from breaking down completely. Still, tears were now burning streams down her cheeks, almost just as hot as the streaks on her back.

_*crack!*_

She was expecting it that time, her whole body tensing for the impact, and thus somehow managed to hang onto consciousness, although she wasn't quite sure why. She even managed to find some control over voice, but barely. "N-Nano-ha... I-I..."

"Do you want to stop?" The question was simultaneously full of tenderness, worry, and concern.

Even through her blurred vision, Fate realizing that Nanoha had pulled back a bit and was looking at her, although she could barely make anything out. At this moment, she didn't know what she wanted; she just felt like a blubbering, helpless mess. The only thing she did comprehend, was that she didn't want Nanoha to see the tears in her eyes for some reason, and quickly shut them while lowering her head.

Still, the question rang in her mind, and she was about to cry to be let go. Being restricted like this, and being hit to tears like this was embarrassing, almost more so than the spanking that had been delivered a couple of days ago. She was literally helpless, being unable to muster any strength to even attempt to break the binds.

Her mouth opened and closed a few times, before she finally managed to squeak out a deathly quiet: "...no..." The small word that escaped her lips, shocked her even as she was uttering it.

"Fate-chan?"

Keeping her face lowered to hide her burning face, Fate tried again. "...keep going..."

There was a moment of silence, and then Nanoha's arms were around her again. Fate bit her lip while burrowing her head into Nanoha's neck, preparing herself for the next strike. She didn't have to wait long.

_*crack!*_

x~~*~~x

When Nanoha started this, she was dubious as to whether it would work. However, she was also finding that she had greatly underestimated just how hard it would be to do. She had hit Fate with magic before, and never hesitated to hold back in any of their sparring matches, but this was different. To Nanoha, magic was a way to fight without harming the opponent, but she was doing the exact opposite here: cause pain without knocking Fate out. It literally went against every fiber of her being, both as a mage, and as a friend.

That feeling was emphasized when the "training" resumed and Fate's whole body jolted with the next strike, her head flying back as another painful cry was ripped from her lips. Each time Fate cried out, temporarily overpowering the sound of pattering rain on the roof, Nanoha felt like a stake was being driven further into her own heart, as if her whole body was feeling each impact, too.

But there was a higher directive in play here, Nanoha realized. If she didn't do this, Fate coudl very well end up dead or worse. So if she had to descend into uncomfortable areas to save the life of her best friend, she would. And it was a promising sign that Fate had yet to pass out, though Nanoha didn't know why. Perhaps it was because she couldn't actually see the "whip" that was hitting her. Nanoha had modified a Divine Shooter spell to have a single orb deliver the strikes in a whip-like fashion.

_*crack!*_

"NrrgAHH!" came the scream again, although Fate had tried to bite her lip to muffle it.

Nanoha embraced Fate again, running a hand up through her hair and whispering into her ear. "I'm here. I do this because because I care about you.

Instantly, Fate buried her head into Nanoha's shoulder and chest. And almost immediately, Nanoha felt wetness begin to spread along her shirt as Fate's shaking and heaving body sobbed into it.

When she had first started, she had been holding onto Fate mostly to steady herself, keenly aware of just how monumental a step she was taking. So she was partially wondering just who was supporting whom at the moment. But she was Nanoha, and she never backed down from a fight, no matter how tough things seemed; and she wasn't about to start now.

_*crack!*_

"NanohAAAHHH!"

Fate's head was torn from Nanoha's shoulder, and the scream laden with such pain and ferocity, that Nanoha felt her gut wrench. "Fate-chan..."

And somewhere along the line, Fate's arms had come to encircle Nanoha in return, and both girls were know kneeling on the carpeted floor. Had she subconsciously canceled the bind spell? Or had Fate broken it in her desire to hold onto Nanoha? And just how long did she plan to let this go on again?

With Fate now releasing great, uncontrollable sobs into her shirt, Nanoha lost her resolve and canceled the spell. Great, big, heaving cries that into Nanoha's chest, that nearly broke her heart. But more surprising, was that Nanoha found her own eyes leaking, unsure as to when that started. However, she ignored her own discomfort, and concentrated on soothing Fate's painful and heartrending wails.

"Let it all out, it's okay," Nanoha soothed, stroking Fate's hair and back softly.

Words were barely audible, both through the weeping and also partially muffled by Nanoha's chest. "Sh-she d-didn't... sh-she... n-never..." Fate broke down again, clenching fist-full's of Nanoha's shirt as she bawled like a child who gotten hurt badly.

For the next hour, Nanoha just held the sobbing girl as she blubbered and cried herself out. Somehow, something had changed, and something had broken loose within Fate. And although Nanoha wasn't sure what, all that was important was being the source of comfort she needed right now.

And above them both, the rain fell heavily.

x~~*~~x

"I'm sorry," came the first spoken words in a long while.

"No, I should be apologizing!" Nanoha insisted back.

After the waterworks had finally faded, quiescence had reigned, broken only by the light pattering of rain on the roof, now reduced to a very sparse tempo. Neither woman had seen fit to break the silence, perhaps not knowing quite what to say. And when Fate shivered, Nanoha had realized that, with her backside bare, Fate must have been getting cold. She was feeling a bit chilly herself, given her now-damp shirt. So she started a small fire in the fireplace with a spell and found a blanket to wrap around both of them.

Fate shook her head, still gazing at the dancing flames as if unable to meet Nanoha's gaze. "No. I... need to explain something."

Nanoha paused, curious, watching the reflection of the flames in Fate's eyes.

"I... never cried about it, before," Fate tried to explain after searching for the words for a few moments. "I came to terms long ago, over the fact that mother, my first one, didn't love me. At least, I thought I did. When Lindy adopted me, she truly treated me like I had always hoped my real mother would have."

In that moment, when Fate paused to find her words again, Nanoha began to get a glimmer of what might have been going on in Fate's soul. "You never cried over how she treated you, did you?"

Fate shook her head sadly, showcasing just how close to the mark Nanoha had come. "I bottled up my feelings while I was with her, and after you helped me come out of it, I think I latched onto you in order to not think about it. I never really dealt with it. When you... hit me..." Fate stumbled over the words, her face reddening a bit, "I realized how different it was from when Precia did it. She did it out of hate, but you were... different..."

"Fate-chan..."

"I don't think I can say anymore right now, but..." Fate leaned over and rested her head on Nanoha's left shoulder. "Thank you."

That brought a small smile to Nanoha's face, even a she wrapped her arm around Fate's shoulders. "You're welcome." But inside, she was still troubled. "So, are you still going to...?"

"Yes," Fate answered with a slight nod. "I'm still going after him. I still really feel I need to do this."

Nanoha let out a small sigh of resignation and disappointment, but she supposed she still understood. And then Fate's hand found hers under the shared blanket and gave it a squeeze while she yawned.

"Still," Fate continued, her voice strangely sounding small and embarrassed. "I might... you could..." She fumbled over the words, pausing as if to gather her thoughts better. "Another... training session might help..."

Nanoha wasn't quite sure what to think of that, but as she yawned and squeezed back, she decided not to think about it for now. For some reason, she felt better, as if something had passed between them. But then her thoughts turned toward tomorrow and Fate's confrontation with Bedge, and she realized the horrible doubts in her heart remained, the question lingered at the edge of her mind.

Would it be enough?

x~~*~~x

"I am sorry, I have lost her trail," Signum stated at the two holographic screens, displeasure evident in her voice. But the other two members in the conversation knew that the Belkan knight's disapproval was directed solely at herself for failing.

"Don't blame yourself, Signum," Teana soothed. "Nanoha's large search spell radius inevitable meant that you had to stay far back in order to not be detected." She then turned toward the third person. "But you were right; somehow Nanoha knew how to find Fate."

Hayate sighed from her own screen. "It was more a hunch that, if Fate would contact anyone, it would be Nanoha. But she couldn't have gone too far, so keep looking."

"You really think Nanoha will fail to stop Fate?" Teana questioned, raising an eyebrow. The difference in teaching styles was quite evident to her during the course of her training in Riot Force Six. Nanoha was ever the tough drill sergeant, almost even with Vita, while Fate was generally more reserved and caring. "I've seen both of them fight. Even if Nanoha loses, Fate isn't going to be in any shape to continue, and we should be able to pick up a magical battle of that magnitude. And I can't imagine Nanoha letting Fate off the hook here."

The Captain of Investigations leaned back in her office chair after a moment of thought. "I don't think Nanoha would; I've known them both a long time. But on the other hand, I can't afford to lose sight of the bigger picture here. There are protocols that have to be followed, and the Alent government is only tentatively cooperating with us to apprehend a criminal. If this spirals out of control, they could kick us out. We're already on bad terms for losing a criminal on their planet." She paused, her look softening. "And Fate is one of my best friends; I can't let her destroy herself or her career, so I can't take chances."

Something unpleasant moved in Teana's gut; she felt as if she were encroaching on private territory here. While she was aware of most of the back history between these three Aces of the Bureau, it was something else to see those feelings on display. She had the distinct feeling that there was a great deal that went on back then that she wasn't privy to. It was also something else to see these people whom she had always seen as very close, end up fighting each other like this.

Signum nodded, her facial features hardening. "Then my current orders stand?"

"Yes," Hayate confirmed with a short nod. "Find Fate and bring her back, no matter what."

Xx~~*~~xX

Author's notes:

Was planning on 4 parts, possibly 5, but it looks like it will be 5 parts, possibly 6. We shall see... Anyway, sorry about taking so long to post the next part; certain actions of a rabid nanofate person causes me to lose my motivation to write nanofate things. Most of you are good and accepting of others' viewpoints, but there is that one or two who are close-minded and ruin things for everyone.


	5. Demons

**Whipped**

**Part 5: Demons**

Xx~~*~~xX

"We should leave some money and a note of apology to the cabin's owners," Fate suggested as the pair finished cleaning up. "It's what I was planning on doing after spending the night here."

Nanoha nodded absently as she folded the sheets, but there was something else on her mind. "So where is he?"

"I'm not exactly sure," Fate confessed surprisingly, which made Nanoha raise an eyebrow.

"I thought you knew where he was?"

"Well, before Teana joined me for the capture, I had been tailing and studying him for several months," Fate explained, putting the vacuum cleaner back in the closet. "Bedge was a thief before he was a smuggler, and it was only because he started trafficking in lost logia, that we got involved. Since he landed, I figured he'd return to base roots."

Nanoha's brow furrowed. "He's committing crimes? But he has to know the Bureau would aiming to recapture him, so why risk drawing attention to himself that way?"

Fate sighed. "It's almost a game to him, to see if he can outsmart the Bureau. Even during the initial investigation, several of his crimes were blatant try-to-catch-me messages." She shook her head to get back on track. "Anyway, the thefts that have occurred in several of the villages match his M.O. Initially, it was just stealing to get by, with food and clothing. But I figured he'd aim higher to rebuild what he's lost, and I was right. He's moving on before the local constabularies can figure out the pattern behind the thefts."

"So you know where he's going to hit next, then?" Nanoha continued to probe, hoping she was being subtle enough.

Fate nodded. "Based on where he's been, and the level I think he's aiming for, I've narrowed it down to a fairly rich family. I plan to be there, waiting when he shows up."

"Where is that?"

When Fate didn't answer right away, Nanoha looked up to see the other woman's looking back at her with a carefully guarded expression. "I can't... I can't tell you, I'm sorry."

The game was up. Perhaps Fate knew Nanoha was searching for information, but either way, it was clear that Fate was going to keep her secrets for now.

Nanoha bit her lip, remembering they had talked a bit about this morning. Fate still wanted to do this, and if Nanoha intervened or helped in anyway, Fate would see it as a failure on her part. She couldn't go into this knowing someone could pull her out if she wasn't winning; she _had_ to know she was facing this completely on her own. So the plan was for Fate to leave, and for Nanoha to _not_ trail her. At all. Nanoha could resume her search tomorrow if she didn't hear back from Fate by then.

Despite the worry and uneasiness in her heart, Nanoha nodded carefully. "I trust you." She desperately willed herself to believe those words, but also realized it wasn't exactly trust that was the issue.

Fate's lips turned upwards into a slight smile. "Thank you." The smile promptly vanished. "I know how hard this is for you, and Hayate and the others. But you in particular. I appreciate all you've done."

And then both of them knew exactly why Fate had been willing for Nanoha to find her; there really wasn't anyone else she could trust on this level.

But was it enough?

Fate set an envelope down on the table - the aforementioned apology and reparations missive for the cabin's owners - and walked out the front door, with Nanoha right behind. For the moment, Nanoha was glad Fate couldn't see her face, and the short trip gave her time to try and create what she hoped was an encouraging expression when the other woman finally turned around. In a way, she was still glad the sun had yet to rise; the darkness provided some comfort, as she presumed it did for Fate last night.

"Well, I'll be going," Fate said, putting on an encouraging smile.

Nanoha wanted to say something, anything, to stop Fate from going, or to allow Nanoha to accompany her. But her voice failed her. Those desperate feelings, a bit subdued until now, were still viciously fighting with the other part of her that told her to have faith.

But as Fate took to the sky and slowly disappeared into the horizon, Nanoha felt those doubts resurface with a vengeance, the ones she had thought she pushed into the deepest recesses of her mind. Now in the forefront, they urged her to follow, in case Fate needed help. That despite what Fate had said, the best thing she could do for her friend, was be there in case Fate was in over her head. That's what friends did... wasn't it? But if she did, she would lose Fate's trust... but that was better than losing Fate altogether... right?

[When did I become like this?] she wondered suddenly, and then shook her head to try and clear the doubts. [This isn't like me!]

Nanoha bit her lip, floating up into the sky, telling herself it was just to gain a better vantage point to see Fate slipping away into the darkness. The sun had not even begun to peek over the horizon in the early morning sky.

And tried to shake the feeling that she would never see Fate this way again.

x~~*~~x

Rein floated into the office, easily hefting a steaming mug her own size. Her mistress was still there at her desk, tapping away on the holographic keyboard, and didn't even look up as the little unison device set the cup down.

Hayate immediately reached down and picked it up, wrapping both hands around it to absorb the warmth after taking a sip. "Thanks, Rein. The coffee is good."

The diminutive girl bit her lip. "Are you sure you don't want to get some sleep? It's really late."

Hayate leaned back in her chair and sighed. "No. I wouldn't be able to sleep even if I wanted to. I have to be up when I hear Teana's next report."

Rein floated down to sit on the edge of the desk and glanced up at her mistress. "They'll be okay, I'm sure of it."

Hayate forced a smile. "Thanks. But I put them into this situation. My friends are probably going to end up fighting each other, and it's my fault." The worry and apprehensiveness was readily apparent via the slight stress lines that had begun to take root on .her mistress's face.

"No it's not!" Rein insisted strongly; she knew the command regulations as well as the Bureau Investigations Commander. "You did what you were supposed to!"

"Maybe, but I still sent them into this," Hayate countered, and then sighed again, closing her eyes for a moment. "And I keep going back over my actions, trying to analyze them, trying to see what I should have done differently. Did I miss something? Was there another way to avoid this?" Her fingers visibly tightened on the mug. "Nanoha and Fate saved me, saved us, a long time ago. I should be doing something, anything, and I can't help but feel that I failed them!"

Rein frowned, compelled to float up and spread her arms to give Hayate's right cheek a hug. "I think you saved them. I believe in you, and I know they do, too."

Hayate couldn't help her lips turning upwards in a fond smile, even as she raised her right hand to gently press Rein to her cheek, completing the unique hug. "Thanks. I'll try to keep believing that. You can go to sleep, though. But I'm staying up until I hear how this is resolved; it's the least I can do for them."

The little girl floated backwards and and made a strong show of shaking her head while crossing her arms over her chest. "Nu-uh! If you're going to stay here, then so am I!"

Hayate chuckled while she began to set the mug down. "Very well. You can help keep me busy. Can you help me retrieve the Garensen file? I'm not quite sure where I-aaah!"

Rein, who had begun to float away, quickly turned back in time to see that Hayate had apparently accidentally set the cup down on the edge of the desk, and thus it had tipped over when she started to let go. Hayate quickly caught it mid-fall, though, however the force of her catch caused it to strike the edge of the desk with a clunk.

"Ow!" Hayate exclaimed, fanning her hand after wiping it on the edge of her military uniform's skirt.

"Are you okay?" Rein asked anxiously.

"Just spilled a little hot coffee on my hand when I caught it," she explained, sighed as Rein began to automatically heal it. "Thanks."

"No problem," Rein said with a big smile, but the smile disappeared when she glanced over. "Oh, you broke your cup! I'll get another."

Hayate stared at it; it was a standard issue military mug and shouldn't have broken like that, unless it was a random weakness in the material. But there was a large chip missing from the rim along with a crack that ran down the side. She wasn't about to give voice, and thus power, to the omen, and so eagerly assented to Rein's offer to get her another cup. But it didn't help her mood any, and the voice in her mind that as telling her that she had made a grave mistake only got louder.

Gritting her teeth, she shook her head and tried to focus on her work, trying to have Rein's faith that everything would work out. "Now, where is that file..."

x~~*~~x

It all seemed so much easier in her mind, Fate decided. All the planning that had gone into this, had lent a detached feeling in her head, and the apprehension and nervousness had been easily sidelined and ignored. But now that she was actually here, the dread forming in her stomach was quite palpable. She tried to tell herself that this was just another fight, and she would do what she normally did. However, in the silence and solitude of her hiding spot, alone with nothing but her thoughts for company, feelings long ignored could be denied no longer.

She was afraid.

No, not just afraid: terrified. She wanted to deny it, but the way her gloved hands trembled slightly, lent physical evidence that could not be denied. Even during her confrontation with Jail Scaglietti hadn't made her doubt herself this much, although it came in a close second. But back then, it had been Erio and Caro who had given her the courage to stand and fight.

However, she was alone now. She had told Nanoha not to come, not to bail her out, not to be there to save her if she failed. The brave front she had shown earlier, was just to set Nanoha at ease; that confidence, however, didn't reach very far within her. And thus, in this tiny camouflaged lean-to she had constructed in a small park, she waited.

The park itself sat near the center of a well-off gated community consisting of expensive houses on the richer side of this town. Given the direction he had been heading and his particular tastes, Fate knew Bedge would hit at least one of the locales around here; he couldn't pass it up. And with a spell that was a modification of the search magic Nanoha had created long ago, Fate had set a number of small, passive orbs around the community. Hidden from detection, they would alert her when her quarry appeared.

She didn't have to wait long; Bardiche informed her silently that he had arrived. For once, she had almost wished to be wrong, but her detective instincts had come through again. Relieved that her legs could still support her, she emerged from her lean-to and stood. She knew what she was getting into was going to be difficult, but being aware of it was the first step towards combating it.

And at least the waiting was finally over.

x~~*~~x

"I surmise that is the direction Testarossa has gone."

Nanoha turned quickly from where she sat on the cabin's roof, cursing that she had been so distracted watching the direction Fate had gone, that she hadn't even realized someone had managed to sneak up on her. "Signum."

The sun still had yet to rise, but the other woman was clearly visible, having come to a floating stop about a dozen meters away or so. Nanoha couldn't even venture a guess as to how much time had passed since Fate had flown off.

"You need not answer," the Belkan knight stated, floating in mid-air still some distance away. "I can tell. And I can guess as to why you disabled your locator beacon and turned off your communicator."

"I.. don't know what you mean." She winced inwardly at the lame lie.

Signum closed her eyes for a moment. "I will not ask why. Sometimes the feelings for one we hold dear, overrides any other duties or obligations. I know this all too well."

In that moment, Nanoha instantly connected with Signum's feelings. The Belkan knight had, along with the rest of the Wolkenritter, disregarded their mistress's orders long ago in order to save her life. If she understood, then, would she still...?

That hope was dashed when Signum's eyes flashed open again, drawing Laevatein at the same time. "But I have my orders from Hayate, and I would also avoid seeing Testarossa face punishment from this course of action. Thus, I must ask: Where is she? I must bring her in."

Almost reflexively, Nanoha's barrier jacket formed around her, and she raised her staff in a defensive motion. "With the trust of a friend at stake, I can't tell you. I ask that you stand down."

The Belkan knight smiled knowingly. "I had figured your response would be as such, but duty required that I ask."

Nanoha locked eyes with the other woman, mirroring the firm gaze, and nodded slightly. "And I had to ask as well."

Signum's smile disappeared, and the sword came up. "Then we shall let force of arms determine the outcome this day!"

Without further word, the Belkan knight came flying at her, and Nanoha braced herself

x~~*~~x

"Wiggs Bedge, you are under arrest," Fate announced with little fanfare. "Disarm immediately, and you will be granted the chance to defend yourself at trial."

Her approach had been undetected, and thus she had managed to surprise him. Thankfully, he was still outside of one of the mansions, apparently looking for a way to bypass any security systems when she arrived. She could have just bound him, but it was custom for an Bureau officer to give the accused a chance to surrender peacefully. However there was another, deeper reason for not taking tactical advantage of surprise: She'd simply be avoiding something she knew she had to face.

Bedge glanced upwards, the edges of his lips also turning upwards into an amused grin. "Well well, Enforcer Fate T. Harlaown, was it? I'm surprised you managed to track me here, but also surprised you'd face me again, after the beating I gave you last time!"

She raised Bardiche calmly, scythe extended in Haken form, and pointed it at him. "You caught me off guard last time. I can assure you, things will go quite differently this time."

Tendrils of magical energy slowly formed from his hands as Bedge created his signature whips. "We'll see about that; I ain't goin' back!"

Fate's pulse quickened at the sight of those magical weapons, and her heart seemed to jump up towards her throat as the fugitive mage leapt up straight for her. Her insides screamed at her to move, but she suddenly felt like she was swimming in molasses. Before she could even contemplate another thought, twin lashes smashed through an impromptu Round Shield and impacted her body, sending her tumbling from the sky.

x~~*~~x

Nanoha executed a flash move to escape the contracting coils of Laevatein's snake form, but the extremely long chain-whip immediately changed direction and came straight at her again; Signum really was giving her no quarter.

"Divine Shooter," Raging Heart announced, signaling that the spell Nanoha had been forming was complete.

A dozen orbs went streaking in on Signum from a dozen different directions, but the Belkan knight calmly flicked her wrist, sending the chain to intercept each magic missile, easily dissolving each one. But that bought Nanoha enough breathing space and time.

"You can't block this that way!" Nanoha yelled, firing off her Divine Buster spell that had been enhanced by several cartridges.

Rather than reply directly, Signum merely popped a cartridge of her own, setting the chain-whip on fire. "Flying Dragon... Flash!"

The blazing magical energy met the pink beam and formed an explosive whirlwind of destructive energies, but Nanoha was prepared for that; she adjusted her spell mid-firing, unloading the last few cartridges in her magazine.

"Strike... STARS!"

A dozen more orbs formed around the beam and went streaking towards their target, completely bypassing Signum's attack. The Belkan kngiht's eyes widened, and she brought up her scabbard an instant before the shots struck. As the main attacks ended, Nanoha used the brief lull in the action to load another magazine into Raising Heart. Even though she knew her attack got through, she was also aware that the Belkan knight's defense were top-notch.

The smoke gradually cleared, revealing a smoking Signum, patches of her armor and scabbard highly singed. Levantein had also been returned to sword form, as both combatants sought a moment to regain their breath.

"You said before that you would have wanted to let Fate handle this on her own," Nanoha reminded the other woman, a hint of desperation leaking into her pleas. She really wanted to settle this with words if she could. "Can't you please just give her some time to deal with this? Is this really such a difficult request to honor?"

Signum seemed to hesitate. "Do not misunderstand my feelings; I am conflicted, but that is why I have my duty and honor as a knight. That is why I live by the code I do." She paused, seemingly struggling for words, which was an odd sight for Nanoha to see in the usually-calm-and-cool-headed warrior. "I wish I could explain more; perhaps one day I shall. But for now, we fight."

Nanoha felt her inner hopes dissolve, but she had one more card to play. as she brought up her staff and aimed. "Fine. But remember our last fight. You can't beat me; at best, it will end in a draw. And all I need to do is delay you."

"Ah, you are quite the opponent," Signum acknowledged with a small smile that said volumes about how much she was enjoying this match despite the circumstances. The smile didn't last long, however. "But you forget about Teana Lanster, who is, at this moment, tracking Testarossa down. If you want to stop her, then you must stop me first."

Nanoha's hands tightened on her staff, and cursed herself for forgetting about Teana. At first, she thought she only needed to delay Signum. Just buy enough time for Fate. But now her objective had changed, it's nature rising in difficult: she had to beat Signum, yet retain enough time and strength to deal with Teana.

She grit her teeth. [Fate-chan... I hope you're doing better than I am.]

x~~*~~x

"Fate..." Teana whispered under her breath, then double-checked if her current companion driving the car had heard her. But the police captain who was driving her, appeared to still be concentrating on the radio dispatches.

It hadn't been long ago, actually shortly after Signum informed her that she had found Nanoha. But the police began to get reports that some sort of scuffle was taking place in a moderately high-class neighborhood in a secluded , forested gated community. It was relatively out of the way, with the large houses and mansions sitting some distance from each other, so chance of casualties was low. But when she first heard the report, it confirmed her worst gut instinct: she just knew it was Fate engaging Bedge.

And the fact that Teana was even in the area, she credited to her own detective instincts. It actually hadn't taken her too long to narrow down the search area. Between Signum's report on Nanoha's location, and her own knowledge of Fate's investigation into Bedge's behaviors, she had a fairly good idea what the thief/smuggler would have been up to.

[Fate trained me too well,] she grudgingly admitted. Although, at this particular point in time, she almost wish she hadn't. Fate was currently dueling Bedge, and per her exact orders from Hayate, she was to apprehend Bedge immediately if she found him, and/or detain Fate if she found the temporarily relieved-of-duty Enforcer. However... she also knew that Fate would most likely face some kind of disciplinary action if she was discovered fighting Bedge.

Teana shook her head. [For as long as I've been her pupil, she's stressed the importance of justice and following the rules to me. I can't just disregard all that now.]

She glanced down at the object in her hand. "What should I do, Cross Mirage?"

The card glistened and then shifted into gun mode, as if giving it's response.

Teana nodded, made up her mind, and took a deep breath. "Captain, make sure to radio your men not to proceed in. I'll handle the arrest. I just need you to maintain a cordon of the area and take care of the civilians."

Marso kept his eyes on the road, but there was irritation in his voice. "We may not have a magical contingent on this planet, but we can handle a mage or two." He took one hand off the wheel to pat his sidearm. "We've got more than enough small arms and stun guns. A mage isn't omnipotent; we only need one lucky shot."

"He's roughly A rank in power!" Teana exclaimed in disbelief. "You'll get your men injured or killed!"

"I know the risks!" Marso nearly spat. "And I know the treaty we have with the Bureau, that gives you initial operational authority in these situations, and normally I would let you take charge. But that all changed when a mage battle broke out in one of our neighborhoods; I took an oath to defend the people of my district, and I intend to keep it! Besides, forming a cordon would take too long; we need to end this as quickly as possible!"

Teana bit her lip; she understood his concern and his motivations. And normally she wouldn't be so hesitant on a case; but this was Fate, her friend, teacher, and partner. She felt a keen desire to not see Fate be arrested. But another part of her realized how professionally wrong it was of her to do this; she was giving special treatment, when her Enforcer code told her not to.

And yet...

Her eyes dropped to the police radio, spewing out a near constant stream of reports. "And sounds like the fight has moved farther into the forest, into a considerably less populated area. If we don't seal off the area, some civilians could wander in, or he could escape! We can't take that chance. It will only take an extra ten minutes; fifteen tops."

And that's what her report would show. Technically speaking, her decisions here could be investigated and questioned, but there was an equal chance that it would be taken at face value.

Marso audibly grumbled, and then gave in. "Alright, we'll do it your way. If he does escape, he'll be that much more dangerous." He finally shot her a quick side look. "I hope you're right about this."

[Me, too] Teana added silently, then laid her head back as the police car screamed along the dark road. [Ten minutes, Fate. Fifteen at most. That's all I can do.]

It would only be later, when she finally arrived on scene, that she would immediately regret furnishing that extra time.

x~~*~~x

Signum was impressed; Nanoha had completely skipped Blaster One and Two, and gone directly for Three. She really wasn't pulling any punches, but that was par for the course with Nanoha. She really took to heart the concept of "immediate and overwhelming firepower." And with attacks spells coming at her from multiple angles due to the blaster bits, Signum was hard-pressed to stay aware of all the danger areas.

Still, she knew Nanoha's fighting style, and so when one of the blaster bits managed to snag her ankle with a pink bind, she knew what to expect next. It was a slightly different experience, fighting Nanoha vs. a fight with Fate. While the latter relied on her speed and constant peppering of spells designed to keep an opponent occupied until a mistake was made, the former tended to more tactfully plan out her moves in advance to set her opponent up. Thus, in order to gain advantage on Nanoha, Signum needed to think in advance, too, rather than rely on pure swordplay.

"Crystal Cage!" Nanoha shouted, suddenly above the Signum, encapsulating the latter in a pink diamond before rapidly flying backwards. This was the move she was expecting; some type of bind, followed by a rapid retreat.

The Belkan knight let her opponent have her distance, The growing ball of pink magic that began to form was the prelude to Nanoha's famous Starlight Breaker, with the blaster bits forming their smaller ones for a crossfire attack. Signum knew there was no way she could defend against all that, but in a way, she also felt honored. It mean that Nanoha really felt like she had to go this far in order to defeat the Belkan knight. Everything else was just a warm-up for this moment... but it was one Signum was waiting for.

She calmly joined her scabbard to her sword and aimed directly for the center of the mass of the largest ball. "Sturmfalken!"

It took Signum a few moments to utilize this spell, but it was faster than the charging time required for Nanoha's Starlight Breaker. In six tenths of a second, the arrow easily broke through the walls of the crystal cage and pierced straight through the middle of the largest ball of magic. It was a shame, Signum mused sadly, that Nanoha's fight would end like this. The swordswoman found it regrettable that their separate paths collided in this manner, but she supposed it was inevitable, given the circumstances.

The walls of the crystal cage continued to disintegrate around her, even as the Starlight Breaker sphere began to dissolve, but the enlarging hole through the middle revealed something that made the Belkan knight to do a double-take; she had miscalculated.

"Sacred..."

Signum's eyes widened, even as she tried to turn, but she was too late.

"...IMPACT!" Nanoha finished, letting a fist of charged magic fly.

It connected with Signum's cheek before she could throw up any kind of shield, and her auto-barrier was insufficient for the kind of damage Nanoha was inflicting. Signum felt her brain shake, and even through the haze, she realized how badly she had underestimated Nanoha; a mistake she thought she'd never make. Nanoha had left Raging Heart in standalone flight-mode to handle the charging of Starlight Breaker, while executing a Flash Move to end up behind Signum, catching her off-guard. She never thought Nanoha would go for a physical melee move like this.

But Nanoha wasn't done and followed up with her right fist, also charged with magic, striking Signum's chin and snapping it up with a small pink explosion. Nanoha didn't let up for a moment; she continued to pummel her opponent with melee attacks, letting her fury keep Signum off-balance. She wasn't too skilled as a physical fighter in this regard, but she wasn't a total amateur, either. In the back of Signum's mind, she recognized this spell as one she had picked up from Vivio, who in turn had copied it from Fate.

"Signum, can you hear me?" Teana's voiced echoed in her ear piece communicator, even as the Wolkenritter swordswoman finally began to defend herself from Nanoha's melee assault, slashing out with her sword to force her opponent back.

"Nanoha, stop!" Signum commanded, dashing backwards to escape.

"I never thought you'd be one to surrender," Nanoha commented as Raging Heart finally flew back over to her, shifting back into staff mode.

Signum shook her head. "No, you don't understand. Teana has located our errant Enforcer, and it is not good!"

Nanoha's eyes continued to widen as Signum explained, and then quickly agreed to a ceasefire as both woman took off into the distance.

x~~*~~x

*CRACK!*

Blood trickled from her split lip as the impact sent her tumbling backwards through the trees, while every strike filled her body with a strange mixture of pain and numbness.

*CRACK!*

But that wasn't the worst part; every strike also gave her a split second flashback to being strung up in the Garden of Time. And for just a moment, it wasn't Bedge attacking her with his whips, it was her mother's haunting visage, sneering as she derided Fate and struck her repeatedly, all the while proclaiming just how much Fate's actions were hurting her mother. And despite all logical and rational reasoning, some part of Fate's deep inner core, knew it to be true.

*CRACK!*

It was _her_ fault.

*CRACK!*

_She_ had let mother down.

*CRACK!*

A guttural scream of pain escaped Fate's lips in response to another slash that left a burning pain along her stomach, while she drunkenly attempted to get some distance from Bedge.

No, that wasn't right; she was trying to _escape_ from him. It was all she could do, just to drag the fight out of the gated community and into a nearby forest.

_I can't do this!_

The cold realization struck deep, too deep. _I thought I was ready... I thought I could handle this..._

But Bedge, laughing in delight as he pressed his attack, wasn't going to let up. "Oh come on, Miss Harleown, don't leave and ruin my fun now! What happened to this time being different? All that's changed, is you've lasted a little bit longer!"

She attempted to fire off a spread of photon lancer shots, not so much aiming to hit him, as to get him to back off. One part of her mind was screaming at her to fight, and to ignore the pain. She didn't know where that voice came from, but she credited it as the only thing that was keeping her conscious.

However, another part of her, which commanded most of her body, was shutting down. She was trying to fight her own body from within, while grappling with Bedge from without. And her body had been conditioned to know that, when the whipping came, it was best just to go passive and let it happen. No, more than that; the whipping had just been the trigger. That's why she couldn't fight back against Bedge, nor against Nanoha. Struggling simply wasn't an option.

_Nanoha..._

*CRACK!*

A searing strike left it's mark across her back, causing her arch backwards as another pained scream left her lips, while she temporarily lost control of her flight and tumbled into the brush. But something was different about that last strike.

"I swear, I've never met a chick who liked it this much," Bedge chuckled, licking his lips as he landed nearby. "And I've had a few good screamers."

It wasn't Precia's face that popped into her mind with that last attack; it was Nanoha's.

_Why?_

A follow up attack made a second diagonal slice across her back once more, in the opposite direction this time to complete an "X", and Fate suddenly no longer felt the need to run. She was at a loss to explain it, though. Before, she had been desperately trying to get away, but now her body felt... resigned? Was she finally giving up?

What was it? What was that thought at the edge of her mind? Some connection, some insight, some message waiting to be discovered? She got the feeling it was very important, but it kept eluding her grasp.

Bedge sounded almost gleeful. "Ooh, it appears as if I hit the spot!"

"The spot?" Fate wondered aloud, not entirely aware of, nor in control of, her own voice.

And then the connection was made; she realized that he had hit her just like Nanoha did last night. As she turned her head, she could see Bedge winding up out of the corner of her eye. She could hear a voice inside, screaming at her to move; a voice that wasn't quite hers. Why wasn't she moving, though?

"Every girl has one, and the joy is always finding it!" he shared enthusiastically as licked his lips and studied her for a moment. "Pain and punishment has always been a specialty of mine, you see. It's made me quite famous in some circles. In fact, that's a large reason I developed my magical style this way."

"Punishment?" Fate questioned in a voice that was a bit more shaky than she would have liked. And what's more, she felt her body grow cold, even as she broke out into a sweat. Her hands were cold and clammy, and Bardiche suddenly felt heavy in her grasp. It was a reaction she didn't expect, and it was just one more thing that she couldn't even begin to fathom.

He paused, looking at her a little differently. "A goodie-little two-shoes Bureau girl like you wouldn't know, would you? But that's what makes you curious. That's what draws them to me. That's why you don't run. Yes, punishment! Everyone has guilt inside, no matter how righteous or holier-than-thou they pretend to act. Especially Bureau chicks like you, always thinking you have the moral high ground, always thinking your perfect Bureau world has all the perfect answers. You've been indoctrinated into the Bureau's propaganda, and thus never believing for a moment that you could be in the wrong. But you've begun to see differently, haven't you? And now you need good 'ole Daddy Wiggs to give you a spanking, don't you?"

She stared at him, a sickening and horrifying feeling building in her stomach as she saw him in a new light. And for a moment, his face flickered between Precia and Jail's, each one looking down on her, judging her with a piercing gaze that she felt go right through her.

He wound up slowly, a large ecstatic grin on his face, as if he was looking forward to just how much he was going to enjoy this. Fate had partially turned now, and was aware of him and his actions out of the corner of her eye. To her, everything was proceeding in slow motion, how he leaned back with his right hand, and she knew that in the next moment, the whip would be flung forward like a striking snake. The voice, more muted now, was still telling her to move, to avoid it, to defend, to do _something_.

But she couldn't.

It was going to hit, and even with her legendary speed, there was no way she could dodge it. She was paying the price, she concluded. She had bitten off more than she could chew due to her stubborn pride. And what's more, she had let Nanoha down; she should have asked for help when she had the chance,

And when he had beaten her, she realized she would lose much more than just her pride.

Xx~~*~~xX

Author's notes:

To be concluded...


	6. Which Reason Cannot Know

**Whipped**

**Part 6: Which Reason Cannot Know**

Xx~~*~~xX

Nanoha flew faster than she had ever flown before, barely aware of Signum as the Wolkenritter swordswoman flew behind and slightly to the left of her. She wasn't aware of all the details; but what she had been told, made her instantly question her decision to let Fate go off on her own. Unconsciously, her hand clenched on her staff.

[Fate-chan, please be alright...]

x~~*~~x

The tendril of magical energy, in the form of a whip, came at her in slow motion; but that was due to her own sudden distorted perception of time. Despite the sluggish time passage, she knew deep down that she'd never be able to avoid it. In her active imagination, she saw the attack easily strike her, unable to dodge, as if gravity had moored her firmly to the earthen floor.

_"I'm here. I do this because I care about you."_

The words suddenly flashed through her mind, clear as day, leaving a distant echo. Where they came from, she didn't know, but she found her left arm moving up of it's own accord. In fascination she watched as the gauntlet on her left hand partially shattered when the whip struck it, which surprised her as much as her enthusiastic adversary. He raised an eyebrow while she stared at the remnants of the protector on her hand, her fingers visible, yet unharmed. And somehow, it was closer now; that thought on the edge of her subconscious. A feeling that, if she just reached out, she could grasp it.

"Decided to put up a little bit of a struggle, eh?" Bedge inquired, licking his lips again. "Good! That always makes the experience better!"

"Pain and punishment, you said?" Fate found her slightly trembling voice asking. For some reason, she had seized upon words he had previously spoken. Why?

He grinned. "Like I said, a goodie little two-shoes Bureau girl like you wouldn't know. But you recognize that you need it now." He snapped a whip once for emphasis, then wound up once more.

*CRACK!*

"Hmm?" Bedge questioned, tugging on his whip.

Fate studied the whip in her left hand, contemplating how she had grabbed it, plucked it even, from the air with almost zero effort. Currently, her auto-barrier was protecting her from the worse of the burn, as the whip had a natural magical pain effect. But some of it still seeped through, and Fate was marveling over the fact that it only made her grip it tighter. But what's more, she discovered had finally seized that important thought, just as she had seized the whip itself.

"You want to change the play?" Bedge asked quizzically, his voice a little unsure.

Fate ignored his question as she stood slowly. "I have to thank you."

Bedge was growing a bit mystified; this confrontation had suddenly taken a turn he didn't quite see coming. "For?" His lips twisted upwards into a grin. "Showing you how delightful the world of pain and punishment can be?"

She smiled and shook her head slightly. "No, not quite. I had more than enough experience in that world. And now..." She trailed off, wondering what is was that she was about to say. Shaking her head again, she went back to her original intent. "You helped me show me the difference. Perhaps I just needed to be reminded of it. But in any event, this fight is over."

Bedge tugged forcefully on the whip Fate was holding, pulling her a bit off-balance while simultaneously lashing out the second magical switch. "It's only over when I say it's over! And that will only happen when I'm done showing you why the pain I give is the best around!"

Fate barely managed to bring up her right hand in time, trapping it and Bardiche inside the coil that wrapped around her neck. Right now, her wrist was the only thing keeping it from strangling her. But he was pulling tighter, threatening to choke her into submission each time he yanked on the whip to bring her closer.

"All those... women," Fate pondered aloud as she turned slowly to face him. Her legs felt like jelly, and her whole body trembled, but somehow she managed to retain enough control. "You didn't care about them, did you?"

The grin disappeared and he tilted his head, while his expression became even more mystified. "I don't understand. What has that got to do with anything? I gave them what they needed."

Despite the pain, and the incredible fatigue that threatened to swallow her whole, Fate somehow managed to hold her ground. "That's what I wanted to thank you for; I finally discovered it. What was missing all those years ago, and now, thanks to a certain someone, I can finally find a difference."

"You're not making sense, but that's okay," Bedge stated, and then the grin returned. "Most of them usually end up incoherent during the process, when they take what good ole Wiggs can give them."

"You are... so keen on giving," Fate choked out, the edges of her own lips turning upwards. "But isn't it time.. you received?"

Before he could process what she was saying, Fate channeled all the magic she had left into an electrical surge that traveled down both whips. Thanks to the magical tendrils connecting them, Fate had no need to aim, and thus could focus all of her magic into pure power. Bedge's face locked into a soundless howl as magical voltage raced through his body, which spasmed while Fate grit her teeth and continued to funnel her power into the attack.

When it was over, the whips dissolved and he fell limply to the ground, unconscious. Fate somehow managed to stay upright, using Bardiche like a crutch, and slowly made her way over to him, panting. She paused a moment to catch her breath once she reached his body, ebony spots eating the edges of her vision which threatened to consume her consciousness entirely.

"Wiggs Bedge... you are under arrest," she spat out, managing a bind spell on his arms and legs.

And then there was a sensation of falling, as darkness claimed her completely.

x~~*~~x

Laughing kids ran by, their jubilant voices barely audible against the general rumble of the crowds around them. Screams occasionally broke through all that ruckus, each time the nearby roller coaster entered a downhill portion. The weather was pleasant like always, and Nanoha caught the scent of various confections and candies drifted on the wind from where she sat on a bench. Marine Garden's atmosphere was delightful, just as festive and friendly as always. Which made the unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach a much greater contrast. She _should_ be happy, and yet...

"Nanoha?" came a familiar voice above the din of background noise. "It is you! Hi!"

The brunette blinked as a jubilant blonde came up to her, dragging a somewhat-reluctant pink-haired individual along. "Shamal? Signum? What are you two doing here?"

"We had a day off, so decided to take it!" Shamal answered easily with a cheerful smile. "I presume you're here for the same reason? Or something else?" There was something in Shamal's voice, but Nanoha couldn't quite figure it out. However, the arrival of another individual forestalled further exploratory forays into that thought.

"Signum!" Fate exclaimed, having just come up as well. "I didn't think you liked amusement parks. What are you doing here?"

"I am not particularly fond of them," Signum confirmed, then nodded her head slightly in her partner's direction. "However, Shamal is... much more so."

The Belkan doctor shrugged. "I love these roller coasters, the faster the better! I can't help it; you could say I'm drawn to them, like a moth to a flame!"

Wheels turned and connections snapped into place, causing Nanoha's to widen into a stare. She glanced back and forth between Shamal and Signum, as things began to shift into focus.

"Are you two here by yourselves?" Shamal continued looking around, seemingly oblivious to Nanoha's abrupt mental change.

"No, we're here with Vivio and Arf, but they are heading to the line for the _Speed Demon,_" Fate explained, naming the most popular park attraction.

"Ooh, I love that one!" Shamal gushed, then began yanking Signum's arm over that way. "Let's go! Maybe we can catch them and board the same car! See you guys later!"

Nanoha and Fate waved, the former still in a bit of a shock, as the other pair moved off. And perhaps Fate noted something on the other woman's face as well.

"Nanoha?" she questioned, sitting down. "Are you alright?"

She finally blinked and tried to smile. "Yes, I'm fine. And thank you." She accepted the large, pink, fluffy object that Fate handed her. "Where's yours?

Fate shook her head. "I didn't feel like it, but I know how much you like cotton candy."

Nanoha raised an eyebrow, but didn't question further. Ever since the incident with Bedge several days ago, Fate had been a bit more secretive than normal; she hadn't talked about what happened in her fight with anyone, let alone her Bureau superiors. Which was naturally making the investigation into this incident more perilous for Fate.

In her mind, Nanoha could still see the scene with horrifying clarity. Arriving in time to see Fate unconscious, her barrier jacket ripped and torn in many places, revealing deep red gashes. Bedge was also being taken into custody, but Teana had revealed that she had found both unconscious, with no clue as to what happened. It wasn't until the next day that Fate even woke up, and even then, she didn't say much as to what happened, other than she fought and captured him. With neither Bedge nor Fate talking, there was little chance of finding out exactly what transpired.

Fate leaned back against the bench's back support. "And don't worry, Arf knows to make sure Vivio finishes her own cotton candy before they get on the ride."

Nanoha knew the attraction; it was one of her favorites, too, but she knew Fate wasn't too keen on it. Still, sending the "kids" ahead and coming back to sit here, obviously meant something more was on Fate's mind. Otherwise, she would have contacted Nanoha telepathically to have her join Vivio and Arf. Nanoha contented herself with the sweet confection, waiting for Fate to speak what was on her mind. And eventually, she did.

"I have to confess, I had another motive for inviting you out here today," Fate admitted, looking straight ahead to avoid meeting the other woman's eyes. Nanoha figured as much, as the invitation out of the blue was a bit of a surprise, given what had happened. "I first wanted to thank you for all you've done."

"I really didn't do-"

"And to tell you that I'll be resigning my commission with the Bureau," Fate finished in an even, almost-monotone voice devoid of emotion.

Nanoha stared. "Resigning from the Bureau? Why? You love working as an Enforcer!"

Fate kept her head level, still not meeting Nanoha's eyes, gazing at something only she could see. "I realized how selfish I had been behaving, and how much I put you, Hayate, and Teana through. I won't wait to hear the results of the investigation so as to spare Hayate. The Bureau can't afford to have a rogue agent in their ranks, and if I resign, I'll take all suspicion off Hayate's command decisions."

Nanoha was speechless. First it was the annual Enforcer retest failure, and then the Bedge incident, and now this. Fate had seemingly come through her fight with Bedge with only some physical injuries that were almost healed, and so Nanoha figured it was finally all over. She was still a bit uneasy about her own role in the whole affair, and the way she had let Fate go, but she figured she could deal with that if it meant Fate was finally going to be okay.

But now this... Even though a dozen different arguments were going through her mind, Nanoha found she had difficulty voicing anything.

Fate finally turned to face Nanoha then, showcasing a brave face and a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "And this way, I'll have more time to spend around you and Vivio, as well as Erio and Caro. I know how my work has prevented me from spending the time with them I should have been doing from the start."

If there weren't people around, Nanoha definitely felt she just might have been tempted to hit Fate then, and the impulse surprised her. "What about Teana? What about all those children you wanted to help by being an Enforcer?"

"Teana is about ready to stand on her own, now," Fate answered easily enough. "I'll submit the paperwork in the morning. She can take my place, helping those kids. She'll do fine."

Nanoha searched those eyes that she had learned to read very well over the years; it was quite obvious Fate didn't want to take this action. And ever since they had become friends, Nanoha hadn't known Fate to be the type to give up like this. After Precia, Fate had, more than anything else, wanted to thrust herself into situations to save people, no matter the cost. So why? She wanted to say something, anything, that would get Fate to change her mind.

"It looks like Vivio and Arf have reached the front of the line and want us to watch them," Fate said suddenly, changing the conversation while standing up. She held out her hand and smiled. "Shall we?"

Nanoha absently took it to be pulled to her feet, and despite the fact that she turned her outward attention to her adopted daughter, her insides were still conflicted. She couldn't help but mull over possible solutions, trying to come up with some course of action that would change Fate's decision. She couldn't let her best friend just give up on her dreams now.

And then she saw Shamal and Signum boarding the car behind Vivio and Arf, laughing and carrying on, and her mind began to wonder.

x~~*~~x

"Oh, hello, Nanoha!" Shamal greeted warmly after cracking the door open slightly to see who it was. "I didn't expect to see you over here today. What brings you by?"

When she fully opened the door to allow Nanoha in, it was then that the brunette noted the white bathrobe and fuzzy bunny slippers the Wolkenritter doctor was wearing. "Have I come at a bad time?"

Shamal chuckled and patted her arm. "Not at all! I'm just relaxing on my day off. Please come in and visit awhile!"

Nanoha hesitated a bit as she was led into the living room of the Yagami household, expecting to see if any of the other members were present, but none were visible. She also wondered how she should broach this topic, because while she had a hunch she was right, it could also just be a coincidence. She needed to talk to a particular person, but that person wasn't online at the forum. Nanoha had debated waiting, but there was no telling when Fate would issue her resignation, and there was also no way of knowing when the investigation would render its verdict. And so, Nanoha decided to take a chance.

Taking a slow breath, she paused just inside the entryway. "Moth to a Flame?"

Shamal paused, and turned back to face Nanoha, the smile ever present, but with a hint of mischievousness there. "Yes? Miss Seikou, was it? I was wondering when you'd stop by, but I confess, I didn't expect it to be today."

"So it was you..." Nanoha breathed, staring at the doctor in a while new light; how long had Shamal been hiding this? A small thought niggled at the edge of her consciousness, regarding the secrets people held and how that would change the opinion of those around them if they were known.

The other woman wiggled her nose while she guided Nanoha to sit on the couch. "And I figured it was you; your description of the situation matched what I was hearing from Hayate about Fate. And when I became Fate's primary doctor, I had access to her files. I can't share what I learned through them due to doctor/patient confidentiality, but I surmise you already know most of it." She paused and smiled. "Oh, and Signum was also concerned, and kept tabs on the situation."

"Signum did?" Nanoha questioned, surprised.

Shamal nodded, then made a thoughtful face. "She's always been fond of Fate, ever since that first fight. Speaking of which... I think she should be here." She raised her voice a bit. "Signum? Would you come down?"

"But..." Nanoha started to object, but trailed off as the pink-haired Wolkenritter woman came downstairs and appeared in the living room, also wearing a white bathrobe, along with a decidedly nonplussed expression.

"So you are going through with this," Signum stated in a tone that conveyed her resignation toward the subject.

Shamal planted her hands on her hips. "I told you it might come to this, and you agreed that it would be helpful!"

Nanoha was surprised to see the normally stoic swordswoman redden slightly. "Um... if you don't want to-"

"Nonsense," Shamal countered, waving it off, and then smiled warmly at her. "We're doing this to help a couple of people in need." She made a beckoning gesture towards Signum, and the pair sat down on the other couch, opposite Nanoha, a small coffee table between them.

There had been a million questions in her head on the trip over here, but now that Nanoha was finally here, and being confronted with two people in bathrobes - and in a situation that she hadn't even considered ten minutes ago! - she found her voice failing.

"Let me guess, you want to ask about us?" Shamal suggested with a raised eyebrow. "I suppose it might be the best place to begin. For starters, only Hayate, Vita, Zafira, Rein, and Agito know about this, and we'll ask that you keep it a secret to yourself for now."

Nanoha nodded immediately. "Oh, absolutely! But how long, um, have you two..."

"It's hard to tell, actually," Shamal admitted, for once losing the perky image and appearing a bit melancholy instead.

"As you know, our memories from our time in the Book of Darkness were quite fragmented," Signum picked up for her. "From what we can ascertain, this arrangement happened sometime in one of our past incarnations, and we have generally picked it up in some form since then."

"Arrangement?" Shamal questioned unenthusiastically, and then playfully punched her partner in the side. "You can be so unromantic sometimes." She sighed and the melancholic smile returned as she faced Nanoha again. "But Signum is right. We haven't always had good masters. The best we can determine is that, somewhere along the line, we turned to each other for support."

There was something on the edge of Nanoha's memory, and she struggled to bring it up. "Wait... I remember Chrono saying you didn't have emotions prior to Hayate..." She was suddenly aware of how bad that sounded coming out, and abruptly trailed off.

"We kept them under control," Signum answered before Nanoha could apologize. "We were nothing more than killing machines, harvesting linker cores, and there was naught we could do but follow our master's orders." Despite the swordswoman's attempt at keeping her voice neutral, Nanoha couldn't help but detect an undercurrent of disgust – or was it sadness? - in her tone. "Due to his nature, Zafira could handle it. Shamal and I drew strength from each other, however..." And this is where she temporarily looked away. "I think Vita had it worst, and was why she kept to herself as a loner." Her eyes came back up to meet Nanoha's. "But that's also why I feel I know what goes through Testarossa's mind."

"What do you mean?" Nanoha asked, finding herself leaning forward.

"I think what Signum means, is that she and Fate are alike in how they dealt with their situations," Shamal clarified. "Fate has never been a very excitable person, keeping her emotions mostly in check, much like Signum does. Calm and collected."

Nanoha had to admit that made sense; Fate had made great strides in coming out of her shell, but she still carried many of the trappings of a quiet girl. Was this the reason? One of the takeaways from the JS incident, Nanoha had learned, was that Jail had managed to enrage her, play with her emotions and put her off balance. If it hadn't of been for Erio and Caro's support...

"The difference is, our personalities were developed and sustained by the book of darkness," Signum took over, answering Nanoha's unspoken question. "We have been this way for at least hundreds of years. Testarossa is still young, and still possesses the capability for change."

"I think, based on what you've told us, that she was keeping her emotions under control, because if she'd lose control of herself if she let them out too much," Shamal theorized. "She saw them as a liability. But now, thanks to Bedge, they are out, and she can't bottle them up so much anymore. Or she's at least afraid she can't."

For some reason , this talk was beginning to make her head spin, but Nanoha tried to keep her focus. "But, then, what does she want? What do I do? We used to be able to talk freely, but now I feel like she's hiding more and more of herself from me. And now she's planning to resign from the Bureau, which was her dream!" Unconsciously, and with inner frustration mounting, her hands balled into fists. "I feel like she's slipping away."

While Signum's eyes dropped, Shamal kept hers steady when she replied. "The same reason she is going through with her resignation: Punishment. It's natural for humans to feel guilt, and that guilt is only alleviated when we feel properly punished."

That night in the cabin came back to her, and Nanoha had to forcefully steady her hands. It hadn't been an easy thing for her to do, and only the fact that she was desperate and it was a spur of the moment decision, enabled her to go through with it. Was that what Fate wanted? At least on a subconscious level?

"Keep in mind, this is just my opinion on things," Shamal added hesitantly. "And there is probably more than one way to go about it. Even if Fate resigns now, that doesn't mean she can't sign back up with the Bureau later sometime down the line, once she gets her feelings in order. You can just support her as a friend in the meantime; it's up to you. But..." Her voice trailed off, causing Nanoha to look up.

Signum glanced down at her partner, concern very evident on the normally impassioned mask. "Shamal, are you seriously thinking...?"

Shamal nodded back at the taller woman, then turned back towards Nanoha and slid a small, nondescript box across the coffee table. "There is also another course of action you can take, and this might help. You can use it if you like, or return it if not. As I said, after some months or years, Fate may be able to return to a semblance of normality, especially if she gets counseling. But I feel no one else will be able to help her, quite like you may be able to.

Nanoha heard, loud and clear, the message between Shamal's words; how far was she willing to go? With some hesitancy, she picked up the box that was slightly bigger than her hand, and opened it, eyes widening when she realized what it was. She promptly closed it again and glanced up at the couple, although Signum was reddening and facing away; even Shamal's cheeks bore a light crimson blush, but she also sported a comforting smile.

"When we formed our new bond, we exchanged items," the doctor explained, then reached up to lightly touch the earring on her left ear. "Signum gave me these, and I gave her the yellow hair ribbon, which we wore in every incarnation to remind ourselves. I know you had exchanged hair ribbons with Fate before you met us, but if you decide to go this route, then these may help."

Nanoha didn't respond, biting her lip and peeking inside the box again, even as the question repeated itself in her mind: How far was she willing to go?

x~~*~~x

She didn't go straight home. Vivio wouldn't be getting out of school until much later anyway, so there was no reason to head back right away. And if she went home, she knew she'd have to put in that call to Fate, which she wasn't prepared to do. She knew she was hesitating, and she knew why, even if she was having problems coming to grips with it. Unconsciously, her hands went to her coat pockets, her left hand brushing against the box within.

Nanoha leaned forward against the railing and closed her eyes, letting the sea breeze from the ocean below run through her hair and dance through the trees behind her. This little park had been one of her small delights since moving to Mid-Childa, because it reminded her so much of Uminari Seaside Park back on Earth. It was almost like having a piece of her old home with her, to remind her of where she had come from.

Currently, there were few others enjoying the locale; mostly the occasional runner, or a couple out for a walk through the various paths. But Nanoha didn't pay them much heed, opening her eyes to glance out over the swelling waters below, that stretched out to the horizon. On this day, more than any other, the location reminded of her fight with Fate over the Jewel Seeds; she considered it her first and last real fight with the other girl. A battle to put everything behind them, and have a new beginning.

Even though she was new to magic, Yuuno was able to teach her much in those few short months. And thus she was confident in facing Fate. But sitting her now, with what she knew about Fate's upbringing, a small nagging thought in the back of her mind grew louder. A realization that she should have known, but it was if she was seeing it for the first time.

[Fate should have won,] she mused inwardly. [She had much more training than I did.]

Unless Fate _wanted_ to lose, that is. It wasn't a particularly new idea Nanoha had considered. At the time, she could sense Fate's heart wasn't too strongly in the collecting of Jewel Seeds, so Nanoha's Jewel Seed bet was a way for Fate to find a way out; all she had to do was lose. Nanoha wasn't quite sure if Fate had really lost on purpose, but what she had learned in the past several weeks, made her consider it once more.

Maybe Fate didn't want to be stopped, so much as she wanted someone to stop her. She couldn't control herself, or maybe she felt trapped, and thus wanted someone else to do it. Someone to overpower her and keep her in line, to show her another way. In that light, Fate's actions began to make some sort of sense.

But what if she was wrong? What if Fate would return to normal on her own? What if...?

This would be a big step.

x~~*~~x

"Nanoha?" Fate unsure voice called out as the front door to the darkened Takamachi household closed behind her. The lights were off and the curtain's closed, which was very unusual for this time of day unless no one was home. Fate ventured further inside, wondering if she had been mistaken about Nanoha being home at this time. "Oh, here you are. Why are the lights off?"

"Leave them off for now," Nanoha stated in something that almost seemed more command than request. She was barely visible in the chair across the room and shadows hid her face, making Fate unable to read the other woman's mood. It reminded Fate much of another encounter in a darkened room not too long ago, and what happened there...

"Are you okay?" Fate's voice turned a bit softer, more concerned, but notes of hesitancy crept in. "If... if you're upset over my choice, then..."

Nanoha finally pushed herself to her feet, face still hidden, but with arms across her chest. "I am. You're giving up on your dream and walking away. That's not the Fate-chan that I know! You put everything on the line and faced me once before with determination; are you really going to stop fighting now?"

"But you and everyone else wanted me to quit!" Fate countered, her voice rising, as she felt her emotional control slipping. "And I can see that now. I was selfishly putting myself ahead of everyone else. I don't deserve to hold the post of Enforcer Agent anymore."

Nanoha was silent for a few moments, as if in thought. Or perhaps she was picking her words carefully. Either way, Fate suddenly felt very nervous, her hands on the edge of shaking, and her body telling her to run. Why?

"And right now, you're still doing that," Nanoha said softly, slowly moving around the couch. "Which tells me you aren't thinking properly. If you're truly sorry for what you've done, then step fully into the room. If not, then you can step back and return to your apartment, and give up on all those children you wanted to help."

It was an offer, not a command, this time, and Fate could read between the words. Unconsciously, she gripped the frame of the living entryway tighter, especially when her eyes fell upon the whip-like object in Nanoha's left hand. She felt her mouth instantly go dry. "More... training?"

Nanoha said nothing, but let the whip uncoil from her fingertips, revealing Raging Heart 's red jewel upon the hilt. Fate knew that Nanoha was giving her the choice, and that she could walk away right now and end it all. She could do that. Nanoha would understand. Not facing a fear was understandable, and right now, Fate found her legs weak. Or rather, they were in combat themselves, trying to take a step backward, and yet something else held her in place. An image of Bedge appeared in her mind, and although she pushed it away, she realized he wouldn't be the last time something like that threatened her.

She stepped into the room.

x~~*~~x

Nanoha honestly didn't know what Fate would do; her reactions during this whole episode had been all over the map, and she had run more than once. Yet, when Fate finally took that step forward, Nanoha found herself feeling more nervous and anxious than ever, instead of the relief that she thought she'd feel. Why? This was what she wanted Fate to do, right? Confront her fear?

And then Fate turned around while unbuttoning her shirt and letting fall down to her waist, while pulling her mane of golden hair out of the way and over her shoulder to full expose her back. Despite the darkness, the sight caused Nanoha to inhale sharply. She had seen them on several occasions already, of course, in the bath usually or when changing in the locker rooms; the small scars, almost barely visible now, from when Precia whipped her long ago. They could have been removed with modern magical medical technology, but Fate had chosen to keep most of them. Perhaps they served as a reminder of where she had come from, some small remnant of her mother. Nanoha wasn't really sure on that, but she did know that Fate's action was more of a dare, as if to say, "_It's your turn now; can you do really do it?_"

Nanoha found her grip on Raging Heart slipping slightly, due to the sweat she discovered was now present. And her hand shook as she slowly brought the magical whip-form weapon up, worried for a moment that she couldn't go through with it. She had before, but at that time, she was driven to help Fate survive the fight ahead of her. Now, it was for a less mortal of a reason. But there was a growing sense that there was something else there, something small, but that was growing rapidly.

Clenching the handle tightly, Nanoha brought it down. "You've been bad, Fate-chan."

The soft cry that escaped Fate's lips was practically a dagger thrust into her own heart. But Nanoha had never shied away from doing the hard things that needed to be done, and she wasn't about to start now.

"You continually stopped us from trying to help you."

*_Crack!_*

"You tried to take this all on yourself."

*_Crack!_*

"And you put yourself in danger; do you know how much I – we – have worried about you?"

*_Crack!_*

Nanoha was almost surprised to hear the sniffle between the cries, and a short pause revealed that, yes, that was a small sob that forced itself out from Fate's lips. She had know this would happen – it did at that cabin in what seemed like an eternity ago. Like before, she herself felt each snap on Fate's backside, as if she were hurting herself. It was almost enough to break Nanoha's resolve, to drop the whip and embrace the other girl.

Almost.

Although she wasn't quite sure when it would be time, she felt that, somehow, she'd know. The whip fell again and again, eventually sending Fate to her knees. Along the way, the shirt had been lost to the floor, and Fate merely stopped there, hanging her head and hugging her body, her golden hair hiding her face.

Nanoha felt a strange tingle throughout her body, as if she wasn't really there, and someone else was doing this. She had stepped outside of her comfort zone, unable to fully grasp that she herself was really doing this. And then she heard it.

"I'm sorry."

The words were so small, so quiet, that Nanoha almost didn't catch them. And yet, despite the near-absence of their volume, they hit Nanoha like a ton of bricks.

"I'm s-so sorry!" Fate blurted out, sobbing near uncontrollably now, her whole body visibly shaking. "So s-sorry *hic* I'm sorry!"

The whip fell from her fingers, as she found herself leaning down to embrace the other woman. "Fate-chan..." But she was surprised that, as soon as her fingers touched Fate's bare shoulders, almost surprisingly hot to the touch, the other woman quickly turned and grabbed her, burying her face in Nanoha's chest.

"I'm so sorry, Nanoha!"

This was the important part, some place in the back of her mind realized, as Nanoha's arms encircled the other woman and held her close. This was the part that Precia never did; the part that showed, more than told: _I do this because I love you_.

Nanoha continued to gently rub Fate's burning back, as if gently trying to soothe each invisible impact point. "I'm sorry to put you through this, Fate-chan."

Face still buried in Nanoha's chest, Fate shook her head. "N-no, it's my fault. I-I..." She hiccuped again, cutting off her words, more tightly grabbing fistfuls of Nanoha's top.

"But I know this hurts you and-"

Finally Fate's red and tear-stained face came up. "I-I know..."

Nanoha blinked, staring as Fate finally lifted a finger and wiped the wetness from beneath Nanoha's left eye, which caught Nanoha by surprise. When had her own eyes begun to water? But more than that, was the impact behind that simple action, that reminded her of another place in time...

_Something I just learned... when you see a friend crying, you also feel sad._

But there was another aspect to that, that Nanoha had thought she knew already... the desire to not make someone you care about sad in the first place. To replace that despair with hope and love. She looked around for the object, relieved to see the box she had obtained from Shamal on the nearby coffee table still, and within reach. So she grabbed it and opened it, as Fate's glistening, puffy eyes glanced up with curiousness.

"These are a symbol," Nanoha answered mysteriously to Fate's unspoken question. "I will be your strength. I will be there to keep you safe from now and forever more. When you are lost, when you need direction, and when you need correction, I will provide it. I will be what you need, no matter what it is. I will never let you go, because..." Nanoha found her voice starting to falter, quivering under the emotion and implications of what she was saying. But somehow, she pressed on. "Because... you are more precious to me than anything in the universe."

Fate's eyes widened as Nanoha pulled the object out, a pair of pink, silk-covered handcuffs joined by a cloth chain. She opened one of the cuffs and help it up, her eyes revealing that the next step was up to Fate. For a moment, Nanoha was afraid Fate would back away or be repulsed at the idea. She herself was beginning to tremble at the implications of what she was saying, but she was Nanoha: she never backed down from doing what needed to be done.

Fate very visibly swallowed... and then held up her right arm, placing her wrist into the cuff. After a moment meeting Fate's eyes, Nanoha locked the cuff around her, and then held up her own wrist. Fate immediately repeated the gesture, locking the cuff around Nanoha's left wrist. They were now joined by an object that, in any other context might seem silly. But the meaning of what had just happened wasn't lost on either, as evidenced by Fate's next words.

"I belong to you. Everything I am."

Nanoha threaded the fingers of her cuffed left hand through the fingers of Fate's cuffed right hand, while pulling Fate against her body in a tight hug. This wasn't quite what she expected, but somehow, it felt natural, and her almost-cracking voice, thick with emotion, activated of it's own accord. But with the full weight of her heart behind it.

"And in return, I belong to you. Everything that I am."

x~~*~~x

In the days and months that followed, things finally seemed to return to some semblance of normal. Fate stayed in the Enforcers and passed her retest, putting her back on track for active duty following a few weeks of probation. After talking with Hayate, and with proper urging from Nanoha, Fate agreed to let Hayate share half the blame for Fate going off on her own. While Hayate suffered a mark on her record, Fate's own trauma issues were admitted in a secret hearing where the records were sealed for confidentiality (the Bureau had little desire to have it's mages' weak points be discovered) and she was given several weeks of probation to get some treatment and as punishment for disobeying orders. But she was back on track to recovering her regular routine.

However, the normalcy ended there, as the "training sessions" had continued mostly in secret. Yet, even in that, there was a distinct change that took place in the attitudes of both women surrounding it. It no longer felt like something to dread; indeed, it felt like Fate did things on purpose in order to receive Nanoha's punishment. It no longer brought Fate to tears, but instead it developed more into a sort of play, a secret that the two shared that also bound them together. Fate almost seemed eager for it now, as a way to let down her guard and be vulnerable. An emotional intensity that led to physical intimacy, a desire to hold each other close in order to drive the demons of the world away. And Nanoha found the effect just as powerful herself; the way Fate trusted her, the power she held, was almost intoxicating. It became something both women desired, a way to let down their guards and experience something that might be taboo, or too disconcerting and embarrassing to otherwise ask for. And thus, something that Nanoha thought would be a short-term deal, ended up being something she couldn't see ending anytime soon.

It reminded Nanoha of something Shamal said to her shortly after Bedge was captured, when Nanoha remarked that it seemed to be over: "_What makes you think it's over? Perhaps it is just beginning. You've entered a new world... both of you have."_

It took Nanoha awhile to really understand that. Just as Shamal had surmised, Fate wanted to be punished; it brought her comfort to know someone cared enough to take control when Fate herself couldn't. That someone could stop her and keep her on the right path. And now, Nanoha was that person, someone Fate could surrender to unconditionally, which made Nanoha all the more determined to live up to those expectations.

But the change in Fate was evidenced most clearly several weeks later, in the Infinity Library, which also helped Nanoha bring certain thoughts into focus...

Yuuno glanced down as the two women began floating up to him. "Ah, Nanoha, Fate, you're here! I have that data on ancient Belkan training techniques for you, Nanoha. And Fate, I managed to dig up some information on your lost logia case. Just a moment, and I'll grab the volumes to transfer the information to your devices." He turned and floated up a bit, his emerald green magic circle flaring into existence as his search spells went into effect and pulled several volumes out of the walls.

"Thank you, Yuuno," Fate told him earnestly. "We're ready. I have Bardiche, and Nanoha has a Raging Heart on... OW!"

Yuuno paused and glanced down at Fate, who was rubbing her side, but grinning next to a slightly reddened Nanoha. She noticed him glancing down, and smiled nervously. He narrowed his eyes, wondering if he had heard what he thought he heard

"Everything okay?" he asked them, raising an eyebrow.

"We're fine," Nanoha managed, to which Fate nodded, still trying, and failing, to hide her small grin.

"Uh huh," he stated, nonplussed as he turned his attention to two books that floated down to him and opened themselves automatically. "Well, you two might want to explain something to Vivio. She was in here the other day, sounding worried that her mamas were hurting each other."

This time, Fate turned a slight shade of red as well, but was saved from further embarrassment as she received a call and quickly excused herself while floating away to take it. As Raging Heart registered that the data transfer was complete and Yuuno returned the books to their places, Nanoha floated up a bit closer to him.

Unable to exactly look directly at him, Nanoha bit her lip, then asked quietly, "So... how much has Vivio said?"

Yuuno turned back and gave an amused smile. "Enough. And don't worry, I don't think she's told anyone else yet, and I told her it was okay and to talk to you two. I'm glad that you two seemed to have worked things out."

Nanoha let out a breath, feeling a certain sense of relief; she should have seen that coming, and taken steps to talk to Vivio first before it got to this point. The idea of anyone else knowing about this was embarrassing enough.

She gave him a warm smile, bowing her head slightly. "Thank you." She bit her lip. "Yeah, I think most everything will be okay now..."

"Are you sure?" he asked carefully again.

She bit her lip again. "It's just that... I'm honestly asking myself why I let Fate go off into danger like that. I mean, I know she does every day since she became a Bureau mage, but that time was especially dangerous and I could have stopped her yet..." She paused and glanced up at him again. "I'm not making sense, am I?"

Yuuno might not have known what she was talking about, but he seemed to get the gist of it. "There is a saying: 'I_f you love something, you must let it go. If it never comes back, it was never yours to begin with. If it does come back, cherish it forever_.'"

"That does sound nice," Nanoha wondered aloud, and then happened to catch something else in Yuuno's eye. "It sounds like that means something personal to you as well. Did you...?" She let the thought hang to see if he'd answer, but Yuuno didn't seem like he'd answer. Instead, he just shrugged and pointed.

"Go catch up with Fate," he told her with a grin that held its own secrets, while simultaneously giving her a gentle push. "She's waiting for you."

Nanoha didn't push it, figuring that even though they had a close friendship, there would always be some parts between them that would be held back, and that was okay. She certainly couldn't share everything about her new relationship with Fate; she barely understood it herself! Instead, she just floated down to the exit where Fate was waiting, smiling. Nanoha took Fate's proffered right hand with her left, allowing herself to be pulled from the zero gravity section of the library to the normal gravity of the exit door, but didn't release the hand. Fate didn't seem to be in a hurry to let go, either.

As the two walked off, hand-in-hand, Nanoha realized the importance of the simple action, as though it represented the support connection they'd always share. No matter what happened, they'd always have each other to draw strength from, and to depend on. Far from being the end that Nanoha continuously looked for, this new change in their relationship was, as Shamal had told her, simply a new beginning. A new intimacy, forged from the crumbles of an old foundation into something stronger and deeper. No longer simple friendship, but something more. Something she found herself wanting to explore.

Fate must have somehow sensed Nanoha's thoughts, as she gave a quick squeeze. Nanoha returned it, and the two walked down the hallway, that much closer together.

Xx~~*~~xX

Author's notes:

And this is where I admit that the entire fic was a buildup to that one joke. Weee! Just kiddin'... mostly. :P

Actually my inspiration was to explore a side of Fate that I hadn't seen any fics address. Abuse victims generally always have baggage and emotional issues to deal with, and while we can probably assume Fate had counseling as a child after the first season, I had never seen it directly addressed. And this being Nanoha (both the show and character), I figured our White Devil was uniquely positioned for the job. Because, in this situation, the characters dictated their usage in this manner, within the context of what I wanted to address.

From here on out, their relationship has obviously changed, and while I did initially consider a more direct romantic angle, in the end, it didn't feel right in that moment. However, you can presume that is where they are heading in the future. While I did have them kiss in Crisis, I now have come to think that it might have happened a bit too fast. I feel my understanding of the characters has evolved and become better, but that's just me. And I realized that if I wanted to write to that point, this fic would have continued long past the natural conclusion that I feel it came to. I'm generally neutral when it comes to shipping, as I prefer to let each story dictate what happens. I throw in plot elements, and let the characters naturally react to that.

As a final note about S&M, I wanted to show also that it is not so much about about the pain that is inflicted, as it is the feelings behind the relief after. You can test this yourself, by standing in a very hot place, and then standing in front of a cool air conditioner, and reflecting on the relief you feel. Or how food tastes much better when you are really hungry. While I am not into S&M myself, I do have some friends that are, so I have a bit of a more intimate understanding of it. The other aspect is the idea of giving up all control to someone and being taken care of... the degree of trust that it takes, also serves to deepen the bond that two people feel. But if anything like that makes you nervous, then by all means, don't do it! :P

In the end, I hope you got as much out of reading this, as I did out of writing it. It was an interesting experience for me, if nothing else. :) The title of this chapter comes from a quote: "The heart has its reasons, which reason cannot know."

Last note: I will be posting all of my rough draft fics to The Fanfiction forum first from now on. After a day or two here, they will go up here. So if you want to find them first, look there!


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